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I think you need to consider the context. Is the swearing important or decorative? "James swore under his breath" is not the important part of that scene; the important part is that he can't find ...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:17Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8432 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:59:23Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8432 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I think you need to consider the context. Is the swearing important or decorative? "James swore under his breath" is not the important part of that scene; the important part is that he can't find the USB stick. But Anthony snarling, "I've had enough of your bullshit" actually _is_ the point of that line of dialogue, so using the profanity makes sense. This could go either way with the description of the young lady who makes construction workers blush. If the book is meant for a more delicate (read: younger) audience, then we don't need to hear the actual obscenities; the reader knows she's angry enough to act out of character, and we move on. If the book is for grownups, then drop the colorful metaphor and just have her spew a string of swear words. If the character has been written correctly, it will be sufficiently shocking.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-07-18T10:29:10Z (almost 11 years ago)
Original score: 6