Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/9429
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

> Once again, I traveled three hours only to eat sushi, alone. Cars passed by and people streamed along the sidewalk. Hanging in the air, I could feel the faint scent of spring. Or maybe it was just the smell of the lilies in the flower shop next to me. Their stem curved ever so slightly, and their orange petals sought the sunlight that poured through the window. The weather was humid, just as Taipei has always been. And terribly hot! But a breeze would come along now and then, softly caressing my skin. It felt really pleasant.
> 
> I wasn't sure if this scenery reflected my mood, though. In fact, I wasn't sure what my emotions were right now. Anger? Frustration? Disappointment? I've never been sure of my own feelings. Sometimes I confuse them with one another, sometimes they mix together. And from time to time, they evaporate. Hiss. Just like water on hot pavement.
> 
> What had A-Ken come up with this time? Oh, yeah. His lab experiment had failed. Something about making flies mate, lay eggs, and observe the inherited features of each generation. He had accidentally put too much alcohol to the cotton in the bottle—and recklessly assassinated them. The idea had been to just use the right amount to put the flies asleep, so he could examine each characteristic. Now that every single of them was dead, he had to start all over again. I had no idea why this research interested him so much. How much fun it was to spend the whole day watching flies fuck?

_Correct Answer: Female._

Does the narrator feel like a female? I know every woman is different (just as every man is different. Well, not that different), but I think they share similar ways of perceiving the surroundings, and expressing their feelings and thoughts. If I didn't archive that, how can I improve it?

**EDIT:**

Here's more, in case you're bored or taking a long break:

> I stopped listening. Heat began rising in my head. I could feel the anger starting to take control over me. Fortunately, I'm very good at dealing with it. The thing I usually do is to picture a stone sinking into a pond. And I watch it as it gradually vanishes into its shallow waters. That usually does it. Don't ask me why. The thing just works.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I felt a burning sensation in my heart. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout at him, tell him that, yes, it would be good for his relationship with his professor—but it would damage ours. And besides, I was already here! However, I knew I couldn't protest. It was my fault. I had come too early, and he probably thought I was still in Nantou. I closed my eyes and pictured my beloved stone. Anger is a survival strategy, just like any other feeling. I always wondered what would happened if you got rid of it. In theory, you would die faster; you would be less likely to scare or stay away from the people who can hurt you. But anyway, that wasn't an option for me. I couldn't just leave A-Ken. I just couldn't do it.

Original score: 4