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Q&A Is it bad idea to directly state the message/moral of a story?

As I understand, this is done all the time for television scripts. For instance, when Star Trek characters are discussing new aliens or territories, their discussions go over some basic facts. Ma...

posted 7y ago by TOOGAM‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T03:16:35Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/27942
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar TOOGAM‭ · 2019-12-08T03:16:35Z (over 4 years ago)
As I understand, this is done all the time for television scripts. For instance, when Star Trek characters are discussing new aliens or territories, their discussions go over some basic facts. Maybe they are confirming their knowledge, in theory. In reality, the reason they say many of these things is for the audience benefit. If the audience is enjoying what you produce, and they don't have a problem with noticing anything unrealistic/out-of-character, and the details help the audience to know something that the audience needs to know, then this is a good thing. (That's my answer to the last paragraph in the question.)

However, this approach can also be a dangerous thing. One key item to remember is to keep things within character. If the text doesn't fit the character, then change it. Or have someone else say it. (Maybe a new, and possibly temporary, character.) Or have them say it at a a more appropriate time.

Be careful when trying to explain something for audience benefit. For instance, a famous radio broadcast had a fictitious astronaut explain weightlessness (when out of orbit) to another astronaut. That just feels absurd for modern society, where more of us do know about weightlessness, and we know that any astronaut would not need to receive such an explanation.

There is another aspect to keep in mind: show, don't tell.

I've been taught that the best writing won't say that the weather was hot. The best writing will include sweat drops, and someone seeking shelter, and being happy about the shade.

Here's some specific feedback to the specific examples you provided in the question:

In two of the three examples in this question, the text "sometimes I think" shows up. In the other example, there is "sometimes I wonder". I also see a "we think", a "perhaps", and a "I'm not saying". Such thoughts and wondering just feels a little insubstantial. The writing may appear a bit stronger if you can give it some more substance. Your characters can wonder, and speculate. But their thoughts will appear stronger if you can reduce how much they speculate, because they can draw upon related solid life experiences (that happened earlier). If the character has sufficient observation skills (and the ability to learn from what is observed), those life experiences could even be experienced by someone else.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-05-06T21:05:23Z (almost 7 years ago)
Original score: 3