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Raise the stakes. Give him some urgent reason for doing something or being there. Take something away from him which he has to find, recover, or fix. Add a ticking clock. Why is he visiting his ...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:21Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/10113 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T03:20:05Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/10113 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
Raise the stakes. Give him some urgent reason for doing something or being there. Take something away from him which he has to find, recover, or fix. Add a ticking clock. - Why is he visiting his half-sister now? Maybe their shared parent is dying? Maybe he's dying? - Why is he going to the mountain? Maybe he's been diagnosed as missing a soul, or his soul is dying, and something/one on the mountain can fix that? Maybe he had a dream that he had to give a soul to someone on the mountain, or he was told a prophecy? - Is there a deadline for getting _off_ the mountain? The earthquake from Eri's story? Foresters, clear-cutters, a flood, a plague? - What's the "something of utter importance"? Can you tie it to something earlier in the story? Can you foreshadow something going on with his wife, husband, child, job, dog, house which only this soulless person can fix? I'm just riffing, but basically your protagonist is detached because he wandered into the plot. Give him a reason to be there.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2014-01-23T10:45:16Z (over 10 years ago)
Original score: 7