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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/10320
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm writing a short story. The main character is visited by a strange black bird during the night (first draft):

> I glanced around but there was no sign of the bird. I didn't spot it in any nearby trees, street poles, or roofs. It had dissolved into the darkness. Just like that.
> 
> Had it been a bird, or something else? But if that was the case, what was _it_? An hallucination? No, it hadn't been product of my imagination. It had been a real bird—with real eyes, real feathers, and a real beak. I went over to check the window. There wasn't a single scratch on it. On the contrary, it looked smooth and spotless as always. Should there be at least a tiny mark? Maybe the bird didn't shove the window as hard as I thought.

I wonder if I should use _he_ instead _it_ to refer to the bird. Would this improve the clarity of the text? Is this a common practice?

> Had it been a bird, or something else? But if that was the case, what was **_he_**? An hallucination? No, **he** hadn't been product of my imagination. **He'd** been a real bird—with real eyes, real feathers, and a real beak. I went over to check the window. There wasn't a single scratch on it. On the contrary, it looked smooth and spotless as always. Should there be at least a tiny mark? Maybe the bird didn't shove the window as hard as I thought.

Original score: 6