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I'm writing a short story. The main character is visited by a strange black bird during the night (first draft): I glanced around but there was no sign of the bird. I didn't spot it in any ne...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T03:22:51Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/10320 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Alexandro Chen
·
2019-12-08T03:22:51Z (almost 5 years ago)
I'm writing a short story. The main character is visited by a strange black bird during the night (first draft): > I glanced around but there was no sign of the bird. I didn't spot it in any nearby trees, street poles, or roofs. It had dissolved into the darkness. Just like that. > > Had it been a bird, or something else? But if that was the case, what was _it_? An hallucination? No, it hadn't been product of my imagination. It had been a real bird—with real eyes, real feathers, and a real beak. I went over to check the window. There wasn't a single scratch on it. On the contrary, it looked smooth and spotless as always. Should there be at least a tiny mark? Maybe the bird didn't shove the window as hard as I thought. I wonder if I should use _he_ instead _it_ to refer to the bird. Would this improve the clarity of the text? Is this a common practice? > Had it been a bird, or something else? But if that was the case, what was **_he_**? An hallucination? No, **he** hadn't been product of my imagination. **He'd** been a real bird—with real eyes, real feathers, and a real beak. I went over to check the window. There wasn't a single scratch on it. On the contrary, it looked smooth and spotless as always. Should there be at least a tiny mark? Maybe the bird didn't shove the window as hard as I thought.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2014-02-12T03:47:51Z (almost 11 years ago)
Original score: 6