Comments on How can I make a transition from third person omniscient to first person less jarring for the reader?
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How can I make a transition from third person omniscient to first person less jarring for the reader?
I'm working on a longish short story (I expect to hit somewhere around 5,000 - 6,000 words by the time I'm through) that starts out in third person omniscient POV, mostly because that allows me to peer into the heads of the various characters while still keeping a reasonable word count. So far, that's working pretty well for the first part, which is mostly setup for later events.
However, I feel that first person POV would likely work better later in the story, as I expect it would help the reader get into the head of the one character I plan on following in that part of the story.
So basically, I want one part of the story to be in third person omniscient, and another part in first person. How can I make that transition less jarring for the reader?
Or is this just a really, really, really bad idea and I should stick to either one?
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Like this answer, I don't think you need to use first-person to get into a character's head. I want to focus a little more on how to do that in omniscient third-person.
An omniscient narrator can get into any character's head, as you said. You want to switch to first-person, maybe to focus ("we're following this character") or maybe to get deeper thoughts than narrate well (too many "X thought"s and "Y contemplated"s feel clunky). But there's a style of third-person narration that still lets you do that: revealing a character's inner voice. You can present the inner voice alongside action and dialogue.
This needs to be set off typographically. I'm used to seeing italics for this. So you'd have something like:
"Yeah boss, I can do that", Mark conceded. Again.
"Good. Have it on my desk by Monday."
With every step he took from Peter's office he grew more irritated. Why is it always me? I'm not the one who forgot to fill out those TPS reports. I told him that Sam had dropped the ball again. I shouldn't have to clean up after that loser just because he's the CEO's kid.
He felt his jaw tighten into a snarl. Calm down, Mark. Can't let that show. He took a deep breath, with effort relaxed into a neutral expression, and continued toward his cubicle, just in time to pass Sam on what must have been his sixth trip to the breakroom that morning.
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