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The first few sentences left me puzzled: Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school, and I...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T09:04:46Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12643 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T03:41:04Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12643 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
The first few sentences left me puzzled: > Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school, and I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in me. So the only reason why someone would join a trip with several people joining is that the person in question was interested in the narrator? While that certainly is a valid reason to go to a trip with him, it certainly is not the first reason which would come to my mind, _especially_ if it is a trip with several people joining. So is there a specific reason (told later in the story) that the narrator would make that assumption? If not, at least to me as a reader it would be unsatisfying.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2014-08-16T14:00:03Z (over 9 years ago)
Original score: 1