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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/14407
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

"Show, don't tell" is a popular ethos amongst writers, and one that is very important to writing engaging stories. However, I'm in a situation whereby my protagonist is recounting an event from a previous chapter, revealing something specific that she noticed whilst the events were occurring.

> Whilst John was puffing his chest out, getting all hot under the collar, and not doing anything specific to exonerate himself, Lana witnessed Terrence, stood in John's shadow, moving deeper and deeper in to what she perceived as guilt, at least for his part, in the crime.

The part of the sentence I'm having trouble with is:

> Lana witnessed Terrence [...] moving deeper and deeper in to what she perceived as guilt

This is, of course, telling rather than showing. However, this is a recount of the event; Lana's perspective, what she felt and what she witnessed. More importantly than what she witnessed, this is how she interpreted what she witnessed. Her perception of the event in this case, is perhaps more important to the story than the actual event itself.

In this case, is 'telling' appropriate?

Original score: 12