Omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction
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When is OK to omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction? Examples:
She called me that weekend while I was cleaning my apartment.
She called me that weekend while cleaning my apartment.
Once on my bed, I took the box and opened it.
Once on bed, I took the box and opened it.
He explained to me that a friend of his.
He explained that a friend.
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1 answer
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I think in all three examples you're starting to impede comprehension, and change the meaning of the sentence.
- Example 1 sounds like the caller is cleaning the apartment of the narrator, because the subject hasn't changed from the beginning of the sentence.
- Example 3 leaves the friend in question: whose friend is he talking about?
- In Example 2 you have to have an article of some kind — if not my then the, at the very least.
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