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How can clarity and flow of long sentences be improved? [closed]

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Closed by System‭ on Feb 19, 2015 at 19:03

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Sometimes it seems desirable to pack a lot of interrelated information into a single sentence, but such sentences can lack clarity or seem tiring.

For example, the following sentence seems to leave no space for breath:

John said it was constructed in 1664 during the Dutch occupation in Taiwan by an admiral that had decided to settle in the island.

How can one structure such sentences for greater readability while maintaining the relationships of the parts and avoiding choppy writing?

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This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/16267. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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I will second CLockeWork's comment. I will also add that while parentheses work, I think commas are more readable.

John said it was constructed in 1664, during the Dutch occupation in Taiwan, by an admiral that had decided to settle in the island.

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