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Q&A How can clarity and flow of long sentences be improved? [closed]

Sometimes it seems desirable to pack a lot of interrelated information into a single sentence, but such sentences can lack clarity or seem tiring. For example, the following sentence seems to leav...

1 answer  ·  posted 9y ago by Alexandro Chen‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:03:34Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/16267
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Alexandro Chen‭ · 2019-12-08T04:03:34Z (over 4 years ago)
Sometimes it seems desirable to pack a lot of interrelated information into a single sentence, but such sentences can lack clarity or seem tiring.

For example, the following sentence seems to leave no space for breath:

> John said it was constructed in 1664 during the Dutch occupation in Taiwan by an admiral that had decided to settle in the island.

How can one structure such sentences for greater readability while maintaining the relationships of the parts and avoiding choppy writing?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2015-02-19T06:25:24Z (about 9 years ago)
Original score: 0