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Q&A What is the fine line between "confidence" and "presumption"? [closed]

I am about to apply to a grad school, and I have prepare the SOP for it (think it like a cover letter to apply to a job). I know the rule: show what I've got, not tell how I think I'm cool. I've tr...

1 answer  ·  posted 8y ago by Ooker‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2020-01-26T07:20:00Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/19494
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:44:18Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/19494
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T04:44:18Z (over 4 years ago)
I am about to apply to a grad school, and I have prepare the SOP for it (think it like a cover letter to apply to a job). I know the rule: show what I've got, not tell how I think I'm cool. I've tried, as best as I can, to stick to this rule. I must emphasize that again: as best as I can. However, the feedback on it is [**very negative**](https://www.reddit.com/r/gradadmissions/comments/3q9e3u/here_is_my_sop_to_apply_to_berkeley_and_i_would/cwdb01c).

The commenter has already disclaimed: that just a single opinion. However, based on the number of votes, I think that maybe my SOP is really presumptuous. I just want to convey an image of confidence. I always think my readers as an audience, waiting to be entertained. I want to impress them with my writing style, but it seems that not everyone will read it as I read it.

Maybe this is the cultural issue. When I write stuff in my own language (I'm an Asian), people tell me that I have a unique style (in positive manner) (of course I have never met someone who criticize my writing style).

Here is the example. What I write is:

> Two linguists have read this work and left positive feedback. I plan to complete this work and publish it in a linguistics journal before going to grad school.

One suggestion is:

> After incorporating feedback from two linguists, I hope to have this paper published.

Another one is:

> Based on some positive feedback from two linguists who have been kind enough to review my work, I will continue my research and plan to pursue publication.

When extracting the line, I can feel "something", but I don't know what exactly it is. When reading my article as the whole, I cannot pick up other bad sentences.

So what is the fine line of "confidence" and "presumption"?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2015-10-27T13:45:40Z (over 8 years ago)
Original score: 4