Describing a Character Traveling: Too much narrative?
I am new to writing and I am trying to a write a novel. In the first chapter, my main character travels from her hometown to a different town far away. I want to use this time to give the reader a view of the kind of place she lives in and also hint at some things that will be touched on later. It's about three short paragraphs. But then she arrives at her destination. At first, I cut out her arrival and the description of the new town because I was afraid it was too much narrative, but when I went back and read it, it felt like she hadn't gone anywhere and was in the same place, so I felt like I still needed that description as well (around two sentences). Then she checks into her hotel (more description) and runs into someone there, which is where the action picks up. She is by herself, so there isn't much opportunity for dialogue during the transition from her hometown to the new town.
I know all of this just sounds riveting. But if anyone could give me some advice on how to transition from one location to another without just listing the actions (the train arrives, then she checks into her hotel, then she goes to the bar, etc.), but also giving the impression of a new place, that would be great. Thanks!
For an example of just this being done brilliantly, read Harper Lee's Go Set a Watchman. A journey is a rite of passage, …
7y ago
I agree with the other posts that if there is no story, there isn't much point in described the travel. But if you want …
8y ago
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For an example of just this being done brilliantly, read Harper Lee's Go Set a Watchman. A journey is a rite of passage, a gate between worlds. Handled correctly is it a fantastic way to open a novel. Note that Harper Lee makes it very clear that the journey with which the books opens is a significant journey for Scout. Make sure that the journey is similarly significant for your character. If the journey is merely a means of getting from one scene to another, it will be tedious.
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I agree with the other posts that if there is no story, there isn't much point in described the travel. But if you want to describe it, you should. A beautiful description is a beautiful description. A couple short paragraphs well formed will be nice to the reader, even if that doesn't add much to the story. Haruki Murakami uses a lot of descriptions that aren't that essential to the story line, but they are so beautifully described that you don't care and it isn't a burden to read.
Just keep in mind that it will have to be interesting. A description like
A tree on a hill and then another tree and some houses etc
will indeed seem boring and a burden to read.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/21093. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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