Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/24905
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/24905
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

_(This construction is a pain in the ass to punctuate, so this is a good question to ask.)_

When your narration is a full sentence, it must be punctuated like a full sentence. With M-dashes:

> “She’s a lovely girl, but — ” He lowered his voice. “ — she cannot dance for the life of her.”
> 
> “She’s a lovely girl, but — ” He took a puff of his cigarette. “ — she cannot dance for the life of her.”

If you want to use a full sentence of narration and _not_ use M-dashes, then treat them as three separate items. Sentence fragments are okay in this structure.

> “She’s a lovely girl.” He took a puff of his cigarette. “But she cannot dance for the life of her.”
> 
> “She’s a lovely girl.” He looked around and lowered his voice. “But she cannot dance for the life of her.”
> 
> “She’s a lovely girl.” He paused and took a puff of his cigarette. “But she cannot dance for the life of her.”

If your narration is a continuation of the opening dialogue, treat it as such:

> “She’s a lovely girl,” he said, taking a puff of his cigarette, “but she cannot dance for the life of her.”
> 
> “She’s a lovely girl,” he said, and then continued in a lower voice, “but she cannot dance for the life of her.”

or if your narration ends before the second piece of dialogue:

> “She’s a lovely girl,” he said, and took a puff of his cigarette. “But she cannot dance for the life of her.”
> 
> “She’s a lovely girl,” he said. He looked around and continued in a lower voice. “But she cannot dance for the life of her.”

Original score: 3