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Q&A

How can I respond to praise without appearing egotistical?

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Background

Alright, so my friends and English teacher recently found out that I've written novels, and asked to read them. So, I gave them out because I have plenty of self-confidence and really enjoy writing. I let my friends read them and my teacher. All I've got now is massive, non-stop praise, about how 'good I am'. My friends have told me that everything interlinks and cliffhangers keep them going, and they love the characters, but my teacher went a step further and told me that I'm going to be famous. No! I'll probably never even get my work published.

Of course, I have had plenty of criticism. For example, in some places my descriptions are too long and I need to break it up, or in other parts my meaning isn't too clear. I love criticism because I think its the only way to be a stronger writer. But, I've got praise from literally everyone I know now, about how it 'all comes together' and 'characters'. At least I know those are my strong-points.

Question

Almost every author loves their work and has a big ego when it comes to writing. So, how can I respond to oh you're going to be famous and whatever? Here's my question:

How can I respond to praise without appearing egotistical, or obsessive about my work?

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If someone asks you a writing question, don't answer with reference to your own work. Answer with reference to the works of the greatest writers you have read. This allows you to address the question while tacitly acknowledging that there are better examples out there than your own work. It also shows that you are genuinely interested in the craft, with is the opposite of an egotistical interest in your own work.

Egoism, ultimately, is not about thinking that your work is excellent, it is about thinking that the work is excellent because it is yours. Showing an interest in and admiration for the work of others absolves you of egoism while showing that you have a genuine interest and enthusiasm for literary excellence.

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It depends on the commenter. Is this a friend who is just being effusive, or someone who's offering constructive criticism (or praise) with an eye toward getting you published? Roughly speaking, it's the difference between your best friend saying "dude, that presentation was awesome!" and your boss saying "Good job with that presentation in front of the bigwigs." Friends can be demurred with empty comments as above. Actual critiques open the conversation to a discussion of technique.

So if your English teacher, for example, is saying that you did a good job with cliffhangers, you can talk about how you plotted them out (or didn't), if you were inspired by another writer or a movie, some of the concerns you had when you were writing it, and so on.

Being egotistical is saying "Yes, I did do a great job! I'm just waiting for the agents to start banging on my door offering me movie contracts. I think it's going to outsell Mark Twain. Teacher, don't you think my novel is better than anything you've assigned in class?"

Discussing the nuts and bolts of your craft is not being egotistical. Courtesously acknowledging that you did something well is not being egotistical. (I mean, isn't that the point of creating? Doing it well? You generally don't set out with the goal of doing something badly.) Assuming that you have done something better than anyone else ever is being egotistical.

You're allowed to say "Thank you! I'm really happy with how it turned out. I loved writing it and I'm so glad other people are enjoying it as well." It's not a sin to take a reasonable amount of pride in a job well done.

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