Are metaphors superior to similes in the following cases? [closed]
Closed by System on Jan 4, 2017 at 13:30
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Here are the examples. The first version is the simile and the second the metaphor (I'm not sure, though, what kind it is).
We faced away from each other awkwardly, as if we were on the first date we never had.
We faced away from each other awkwardly, portraying the first date we never had.
My past rejection, his present sweetheart, my future surgery, all that swelled up inside me until I burst like a water balloon.
My past rejection, his present sweetheart, my future surgery, all that swelled up inside me until I burst into tears.
He held my hand and examined it, as though wanting to read our future in it.
He held my palm and examined it, perhaps wanting to read our future in it. (All right, this one isn't a metaphor. Not sure what it is.)
Are the metaphoric version of the sentences superior to their similian (just made up this word) counterparts? Why or why not?
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1 answer
We faced away from each other awkwardly, as if we were on the first date we never had.
A hypothetical or conditional, not a metaphor.
We faced away from each other awkwardly, portraying the first date we never had.
Description.
What you want is:
We faced away from each other awkwardly, two shy teenagers on the first date we never had.
Next one:
My past rejection, his present sweetheart, my future surgery, all that swelled up inside me until I burst like a water balloon.
That's a simile. Great!
My past rejection, his present sweetheart, my future surgery, all that swelled up inside me until I burst into tears.
Figurative language leading to a description. You can physically "burst into tears." The people and events are not physically inside you.
He held my hand and examined it, as though wanting to read our future in it.
He held my palm and examined it, perhaps wanting to read our future in it.
Both of these are the narrator projecting or wondering what the other person is thinking. Not figurative or metaphorical.
A simile always uses "like" or "as": "The rustling of the branches was like trees whispering to each other."
A metaphor uses symbolism. It's something which can't be literal: "Their hissing gossip was the rustle of tree branches: indistinct, indecipherable, far above my head."
As far as which is "superior," that's mostly a matter of word choice and flow. I think your similes are better here, but a metaphor might be better elsewhere.
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