There is one key fear that all young men share, and most older men, if we are honest: The fear of appearing weak. Men have an instinctive need to project strength, and will find any way they can to do it, even when it is against their best interests. They will do it through their behavior, they will do it through their speech.

The last bastion of strength is indifference. If I cannot change the world, I will endure it. If I cannot win the fight, I will not flinch in defeat. If I dare not face a foe, I will mock them.

Every word a male speaks is in some way shaped by this fundamental dictum of maleness: do not show weakness.

posted over 7 years ago

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Mark Baker‭

4371 reputation 12 1104 744 58

I'm going to go out on a limb and say just write the character and let the chips fall where they may. There's a lot going on in the brain and we don't understand this. Although I appreciate some ideas about genetic determinism (aka the need as an animal for basic necessity of life), the fact is that with our brain capacity a large amount of it is, in my own opinion, bunk. That whole google document thing that was written a while back, assuming the basic premise that genetics of male and female determine evolutionary predisposition to STEM fields, it neglects the fact that we didn't evolve to sit in a cube farm for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I'm in the reverse situation, a male writing a female protagonist. I took up the whole project as a challenge because I didn't think I could write convincing women. Low and behold, she's one of my favorite characters I've ever thunk up... and most of her personality is inspired by agender personality traits I admire in various real life and fictional characters (and some flaws because no one's perfect). It's no different than what I would do if I was making a male character. The hardest part... and I mean this truly... is this is the first time I have to understand how dress sizes work... but then, I barely understand men's beyond "I must wear them in public settings". But hey, half the fun of writing for me is learning about new things so I get it right... even if it's fashion... shutters (Ironically, the biggest fashion conscious character in this story is her straight best guy friend.).

Anyway, back on track, if you are considering writing a male protaganist, its' probably going to be for books for guys. If that's the case, the best piece of advice I can give you is not how to write your character, but how to write your own name... use your first and middle initials and last name.

In dating myself a little bit, when I was a kid, the three biggest authors of books kids my age read the hell out of were by R.L. Stine (I personally wasn't a fan, but all my friends were), K.A. Applegate (huge fan!), and J.K. Rowling. All three wrote books that appealed to a male audience more than a female one and are listed in reverse order of number of books sold. The only male author is of course R.L. Stine and for much of the 90s and 00s, the books boys wanted to buy were authored by women and were largely from a male perspective (exclusively in Rowling's case... K.A. Applegate had a 2:1 male female perspective character ratio.).

As a kid, because of the names not betraying the author, I picked them up and read them religiously and thought they were written by men... until I used masculine pronouns to refer to Applegate, and the librarian I was talking to informed me that he was actually a she... and I was like "Oh, that's cool... still like these characters, I'm going to read more." When it happened again with Rowling, my reaction was along the lines of "Got me again... well played."

And again, consider the reverse. Look at how many men absolutely love the latest My Little Pony show unironically. The burning question of many who don't understand why is answered when you stop watching it as a girls show and watch it as a television show that features girls as the core cast... they don't emphasize "Girl Power" or "Battle of the Sexes" and "Girls are just as good as guys". They emphasize positive characters who are more indicative of their personality than they are of their gender. There is not one of the core cast that could easily port that personality into a male character (Okay... Rarity, the Fashion Pony, is hard... but then, have you seen how meticulously obsessive some Star Wars 501st Legion fanboys are about getting their costumes just right?)

Write your character as you see him and don't worry about how masculine he seems. Write your story the way you want it, and don't worry if he seems overly emotional... because at the end of the day, guys might not show it... but we do get scared, we do have doubts... we do worry about things... we might like to pretend we don't but men are not without emotions.

posted about 7 years ago

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hszmv‭

530 reputation 1 71 105 0

Sex or gender are just a small part of who your characters are. If you take all the female characters from contemporary literature together, they don't have many things in common.

As with all things, differences between the sexes are much smaller than differences within each of the sexes. My favourite example is body height: the smallest man and the tallest man are almost a meter apart, while the average man and the average woman only differ in about 10 cm. And for almost any given man, there is a woman who is taller than he is, despite the fact that women are smaller on average. If you look at individuals, average gender/sex differences are meaningless.

Your male viewpoint character should not be defined by some idea of maleness, but by what kind of person you want in your story. Simply,

stop thinking of him as a man and instead consider his function in your story.

posted almost 6 years ago

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System‭

3226 reputation 147 215 553 0

Study Your Friends

You likely have male friends. When speaking with them, really think about their responses. Listen to their phrasing and try to remember exactly how they put things, then go back and compare them to how you would say something similar. Consider the cases where you wouldn't say something and they do, especially. What context was that? What could have been the impetus for them to speak up where you did not? Do the same with your female friends - you may be female, but you are only one female. Compare and contrast.

Ask Your Friends

Probably after you gather data from the previous exercise, explain to them that you're writing a novel from a male POV and need to understand the male psyche. Write an outline of your plot and the things that happen to your character. Ask your male friends how they would feel in the situation, and what their reaction would be. Once more, you can ask your female friends so that you can compare the data.

Study the Wild Male

This borders on rude, but such sacrifices we make for our art. Go someplace public where you're likely to find men who are similar to your character. A bar may work, but a variety of settings couldn't hurt. Take a journal and sit in a corner. Listen to the men around you similarly to how you did your friends in the first exercise. Pay particular attention to men interacting with other men, but make sure to analyze a variety of situations: Two close friends speaking, men interacting in a group of male friends, men interacting in a group that includes men and women, men interacting with male and female strangers. Do the same with women to compare yet again. Write down what you observe. (Like Henry Higgins!)

Remember that human nature doesn't change that much...

You're writing in a fantasy setting, but the presence of fantasy elements aren't likely to change human nature that much. (Unless the conceit of the setting is that the fantasy elements do, of course, but that may be a different discussion altogether.) For all of recorded history, humans mostly seem to be focused on making a living (whether that was through hunting and gathering or computer programming), figuring out where they fit in society, finding friends and romantic partners, and asserting that they are special and better than other people in some way. Men and women may approach these differently, but through your study perhaps you will find out if that is true.

posted over 7 years ago

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Michael‭

10 reputation 0 1 2 0

I will recommend you begin with a book, non-fiction popularized science, "Is There Anything Good About Men? [How cultures flourish by exploiting men]" by Roy F. Baumeister, the Eppes Eminent Professor of Psychology at Florida State University (at the time of writing he was).

I am speaking from memory of Baumeister's illuminating ideas. The premise is simple, that due to the biology of mating, men are expendable, disposable, and this disposability (whether the men themselves think so or not) is reflected in their psychology and our cultural norms.

He begins with an interesting observation found from studying genetics: How many of your ancestors were male, and how many female? Your first thought that it must be 50/50 is wrong. 2/3 of your ancestors were female, only 1/3 were male! Until recently modern times, only about 50% of men reproduced, while over 90% of females reproduced, because very strong or rich men had many wives and children. A single man can father a hundred children in a year, a single women can be the ancestor of, at best, triplets, and on average, ONE.

This makes men expendable. Suppose I have a village of 500 men and 500 women, 1000 people, and we go to war and lose 400 people in battle. Now I speak in generalities ignoring caveats like religion and personal choice. That said, if I lose 400 men, the remaining 100 men can easily father the next generations, and the village can have 500 children and thrive. If I lose 400 women, I have 500 men that have to compete for the 100 remaining women, and I will have 100 pregnancies: The village does not thrive, it shrinks.

The future of the village is best served by making all intentional sacrifices of life, male lives. That dynamic exists throughout the animal kingdom: For horses, most males do not reproduce, and they fight to the death for the right of it. All females reproduce, however.

In human society, Baumeister notes, we have literally hundreds of legends in dozens of languages and cultures about a group of men banding together and going to seek their fortune; building a ship, fighting battles, so they can come home with riches and get themselves wives. Virtually ZERO such legends about a group of women doing the same to attract husbands.

They don't need to do that, the vast majority of women can reproduce with some male if they want to; their instinctive competition is not to get a male interested in them because they (the woman) has power or wealth, their instinctive competition is for the better males, the ones with power, wealth, and the ability to both protect and provide for the woman and her children.

Male psychology, including the involuntary parts, springs from this dynamic.

It is why they are quick to fight, why they (IRL) commit most murders, why they see women as sexual objects: Historically the male involvement in a pregnancy could be just five minutes of intercourse and end of story: child produced! The rest of his involvement could be just in authorizing the expenditure of his resources to provide for his wife and children. Like a salmon, he could literally die in battle the next day and still end up with a child.

It is why they don't care much about their looks and can be seen as sexually attractive to women even when aged or distinctly unpretty: The power and resources of a King do not require an athletic body or pretty face. For women, however, appearances matter, because youth, health and symmetry are key indicators, for a male, of the reproductive potential they subconsciously seek, and are usually wired to become aroused by.

It is why women have long been considered the property of males: THEY are the precious resource, not males. For a father, it is his daughters that other men seek and will pay much for, not his sons. If he wants his sons to reproduce he has to give them land and wealth. For his daughters he will receive land and wealth, because a girl of reproductive age is a valuable asset in her own right, in much demand by men; in fact they will risk their lives to earn the price. It is why virginity is prized in women, but not men: Virginity in the marriage bed ensures the offspring of that mating is the progeny of the man, and there is always the fear of a man that a child is not his. No such fear exists for women, obviously, their kid is unquestionably theirs, and if she knows she has mated with only one man, she is certain of the father, too: His virginity or not just doesn't really matter. [with caveats for modern medicine, of course.]

I do suggest reading the book; it explains much and lets you see both male and female POV with greater clarity, and get into their subconscious psychology with greater ease.

I am not saying the modern woman (or even medieval woman) sees herself as a reproductive commodity. But their sexual and social attitudes differ greatly from males. The vast majority of 21 year old females, on any night of the week and with no fame or wealth, can walk into a bar and walk out with a willing sexual partner within the hour. Note that the 'vast majority' also means there is no necessity for extraordinary beauty or physical shape.

Yet only an extreme minority of 21 year old men could do that (repeat: with no fame or wealth or extraordinary looks or physical shape).

That difference, and many more such psychological differences, originates in this observation that men are disposable, reproductively, and women are not.

posted about 7 years ago

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Amadeus‭

3156 reputation 2 1399 613 37