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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/29897
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm a beginner writer. I have been focusing recently on giving my characters depth. Making them complex people with complex emotions and motivations.

One of my characters is depressed. She's going through a tough time and is feeling pretty numb and disenchanted with the world. I write in the first person from her point of view, and I have found myself writing very short, concise sentences when she is depressed and longer, more descriptive, flowier emotional ones when she relaxes.

For example, a party she went to that she didn't want to be at: "I smiled. I ate. I spoke. I listened. I left."

Now naturally, the entire book isn't like this. The rest does flow, however there are situations where I feel like it's appropriate.

I like the complete lack of feeling, devoid of description or emotion, just like how she is numb.

That said, I have a couple of concerns about this technique.  
- it may be jarring to the reader. It can be awkward, uncomfortable to read.  
- I feel like I may be missing out on opportunities to elaborate and develop her more. I could be using these times as a chance to say a bit more about how she feels.  
- I read on another answer that writing should flow like speaking does, and this goes against that.

I don't know if this kind of thing is done. Maybe my writing immaturity is showing here. Is this technique used by writers, or is it generally considered a bad idea in general to write sentences purposely devoid of detail? Is this something I should put aside until I'm more experienced and know better how to break the rules?

Original score: 4