The basics of making a "reason you suck speech" that doesn't feel contrived
"The reason you suck speech" is a trope, that is described as: A character gives a speech on why someone or something is shit.
And here's an example:
Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. [...] Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
—GLaDOS, Portal 2
If there's any, what are the general rules/guidelines to make an actually good "reason you suck speech" in content (what's the grumbling precisely about, what it focuses on)?
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/30687. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
Such speeches are an emotionally cathartic release for the character making them, therefore the rule is they are generally in the order of what is irritating them most about the person that sucks.
The person making the speech is venting, and like venting, the highest pressure gases escape first, and they stop venting when most of their internal pressure has been released.
Like all such speeches, when read aloud, twenty or thirty seconds is acceptable and you push the limits of credibility at sixty seconds. They are meant to be burns; and shorter burns are better and funnier than long burns.
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