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Q&A Where to put character responses in dialog?

I am not certain of convention. Is one of the two of these correct? Or are they equivalent? Jane said, "Let's chase the ball." Jack looked at her in disbelief. "We always chase the bal...

1 answer  ·  posted 7y ago by DPT‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Question conventions
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T07:09:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/30836
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar DPT‭ · 2019-12-08T07:09:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
I am not certain of convention. Is one of the two of these correct? Or are they equivalent?

> Jane said, "Let's chase the ball."
> 
> Jack looked at her in disbelief. "We always chase the ball, Jane. We've been chasing the ball for fifty years. Let's deflate it instead."

Or,

> Jane said, "Let's chase the ball." Jack looked at her in disbelief.
> 
> "We always chase the ball, Jane. We've been chasing the ball for fifty years. Let's deflate it instead."

**Edit: Another iteration of this. What if Jack has a mental response, but doesn't speak it aloud?**

> Jane said, "Let's chase the ball." Jack looked at her in disbelief, thinking, _Another day chasing the ball?_ Jane suggested, "Or, we can deflate it instead?"

Are Jack's thoughts worthy of their own paragraph?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-10-16T15:13:28Z (about 7 years ago)
Original score: 10