How to show two characters are communicating mentally
I'm writing a story where my two main characters have been merged together so that they share a single body. They spend a lot of time discussing things and arguing on what actions to take. This has resulted in some very odd sections of dialogue to write where they are communicating but they are talking to someone else at the same time.
I am finding it hard to keep dialogue fresh - even when it's just them communicating - as they can't use body language with one another. I don't want to fill my novel with "thought at" since they can choose to keep some thoughts private from the other because everyone has secrets.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/31369. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
Adding to A.T Catmus answer, mental communications could have a sort of "flavour". As humans we are able to determine emotions of a speaker only judging by a spoken sentence; thoughts could be treated in the same way. After all, probably a part of one own emotions gets carried with the message itself. Since humans are social animals, we are designed to recognize and react in front of emotions, so:
I'm telling you, I didn't do it. Bob's thoughts reverberated with force into Greg's head, making his teeth grind by reflex.
Don't go shouting in my head. He coldly answered with slight annoyance. But then a rush of guilt struck him; given Bob's situation, he had a lot of reasons to be angry. Reprimanding him for being rude wasn't going to help. I know you're stressed, but I had to make sure. he added, trying to convey consideration.
Still, things are gonna go south for me. Bob's bleak answer showed that his attempt only had partial success.
0 comment threads