When writing down a huge amounts of detail is inevitable
In hard-SF the writer has to adapt to the world and its limitation. Under normal circumstances, this shouldn't a problem, as you can always make something great, even with the limitations.
However, sometimes detailing and establishing a plot/normal device tends to yield huge infodumps:
Note: my comments will be in italics
"Okay, here's the plan: Those Warbots are the result of some megalomaniac idiot's attempt at creating walkers. Needless to say, their power source and extra weaponry means that their armor had to be reduced significantly, and they are still slow as heck. This weapon right here is the pinnacle of what can be achieved with a reasonable DEW (Directed-Energy Weapon). It fires a coherent beam of Hard X-rays, capable of easily penetrating armor and wiping information from sensitive electronic devices when not frying them."... (Explanation: Warbots operate via through dummy plugs, which serve as an artificial brain, and in many respects, is similar to an SSD. They were originally created to prevent haxxor attacks on important machines and enable offline operation.)
..."Not so fast! Sadly, Hard X-rays are kinda good at getting through things and not even the weapon can reliably stop some of the extra radiation, and in this merry little club of epic-fail GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms), I'm the only one who happens to be radiotrophic, in other words, I handle it and you'll provide the overwatch."
See, I hadn't even mentioned the technical details of the weapon, and it's still a huge dialog.
Ad there are many, more: Tsiolkovsky's rocket equation, the function of delta-v (change in the velocity of an object) in space travel, the Dyson-fleets, and so on and so forth.
So, is there any way to deliver the info without making the reader fall asleep?
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/31530. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
3 answers
Were the comments meant for us or are you putting them in the novel? Because if it's the second, you can create an index at the end of the novel where readers can go check the abbreviations and meanings.
About the long dialogue, at times it's necessary. But if you're afraid of it being long and boring, try to make the character who's talking do some actions. Maybe he has a blueprint in front of him and will point to it. Ex: "This weapon right here," he pointed to a long, thin firearm under the label Directed-Energy Weapon, "is the pinnacle of what can be achieved with a reasonable DEW."
Sorry if it's not the answer you're looking for. I'm not into Sci-fi. However, long dialogue can be cut through with the characters of the moment doing something other than sit down and talk. Even small gestures can break the monotony.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31532. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
0 comment threads
The best way I have seen to infodump is through conflict, preferably between people that (at least for the moment) don't like each other, or are trying to top each other. Here is my analysis.
Those Warbots are the result of some megalomaniac idiot's attempt at creating walkers.
This is unnecessary, where they came from or who built them doesn't make any difference to the plot or how to deal with them.
What follows is my take on what could work, for this snippet. The number of words doesn't matter. It could even be more than your infodump, in fact infodumps done correctly usually use many more words. Part of your problem is trying to impart too much information in too little space. Spread it out!
Here is an example of what I mean. A little conflict helps drive the dialogue.
"These Warbots were an early shot at walkers, but most people don't know that their armor is actually pretty thin. So here's my idea ..." Mike said, but Joe interrupted him.
"That makes no sense," Joe said, irritated. "Look at the armament on it, you think the armor is paper?"
"No, I know the armor is paper," Mike said. "The nuke powering these things is from two hundred years ago. All that armament is heavy, so it can't carry much armor, and it is slow as hell. Now class is over, you want to hear my idea?"
"Sure, you go ahead professor," Joe said.
"I will. This is the most modern DEW in the universe. It can penetrate that armor and wipe the electronics, those things will come to a standstill. All you have to do is get me within a thousand yards ..."
Joe interrupted him again. "Yeah yeah, teach, now this is my class. The directed energy from that weapon is hard X rays, which I am sure you know, but you obviously don't know it isn't fully shielded. Pull that trigger and you're a dead fool, and so is anybody near you. Except me. All you Mods got some good genes in the lab, but I'm the only radiation resistant Mod in this crew. So here's the plan that doesn't kill you: you get me within a thousand yards, then kick back and have a drink while I do all the work."
0 comment threads
This is a great example of when to show instead of telling. Infodumping is the act of telling a lot of information in a short amount of time. Sometimes it works, but usually, as you have noted, the reader simply falls asleep.
Amadeus has provided a great method with telling the information through dialogue and conflict. That's definitely better, but it is still technically telling. The conflict simply provides some tension to prevent the reader from falling asleep. He still has to wade through all of the information.
Instead of trying to tell this information, you should show it. Consider, for example, the second half of the first chapter of Harry Potter. Rowling had to alert the reader right away that this was a world with wizards and magic. She could have told us that. She could have opened with an infodump about how wizards have lived in hiding all this time; she could have even explained Harry's backstory. But she didn't. She just showed us some wizards and some magic.
The same principle can easily apply here. Remove the dialogue completely, and skip forward to the action:
Frank hefted the gun, and took a deep breath. He couldn't miss. The weapon was the pinnacle of DEW technology, but it still leaked radiation deadly to anyone else. Anyone but him.
Frank stood up behind the rock and swiveled on the spot, turning to face the warbots. He sighted along the gun, aiming for where he knew the electronics were. They were encased in armor, but that didn't matter to the beam of Hard X-Rays the gun could fire.
He pulled the trigger. The X-rays were invisible of course, but he saw the warbot stagger, and lurch sideways as the weapon did its work. Frank could feel a tingling on his skin and knew the radiation from the gun was washing over him. But it didn't matter. Out of their merry little club of epic-fail GMOs, he was the only one who happened to be radiotrophic.
Using this method, you remove the infodump completely, and not only convey all the information you need, but show it as true, rather than simply asking the reader to believe you. Inserting the information into the action like this also serves to cut down on mindless 'action-telling' (just relating what happened).
Best of luck in your endeavors!
0 comment threads
0 comment threads