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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31946
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31946
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

As you said yourself, that kind of cliched dying monologue just isn't taken seriously anymore. I can't even take the big dramatic slow-motion "NOOOOOOO"s seriously anymore (see: _Wonder Woman_). So if you really want to have a character say something like "I'm so cold... I don't want to go...", then **play the scene for laughs**.

They are two ways to go about this, and I have an example of each:

a) The character isn't actually dying, but they think they are. Example: the climax of _Megamind_, after Minion is injured by the antagonist. He launches into a long, cliched death speech... and Megamind just rolls his eyes and tosses him into a nearby fountain, where he immediately recovers (for context, Minion is basically a talking fish).

b) The character isn't actually dying, but they're trying to convince someone else that they are. Example: a scene in the film _Over the Hedge_ where Ozzy the possum is (not quite) hit by a car. He proceeds to "play dead", which consists of staggering around in front of the car for a good thirty seconds, rattling off every "dying speech" cliche you can think of, ending with a final gasp of "Rose... bud..." before collapsing.

If you want to use stock death speech, but play it completely straight, then my only advice is "Don't". IMO, people are going to laugh at that kind of hackneyed dialogue no matter what you do, so it's better to make sure they're at least laughing _with_ you, not _at_ you.

Original score: 1