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In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also the POV character in this case) arrives at a new location which he has never been in before. This is the first mention of th...
#5: Post edited
In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also _the_ POV character in this case) arrives at a new location which he has never been in before. This is the first mention of this location within this story, so the reader can also be assumed to be completely unfamiliar with the location.Shortly after arriving, the POV character is looking around and noting, in this case, what the house he's entered is like on the inside. This results in a bit over half an A4 page of text where this character notes different aspects of the interior of the house.Everything that the character notes is things that would be visible from where he's standing, so none of it seems unreasonable at a glance that he'd note; also, looking around to get a feel for the place you're in would be a fairly normal thing to do when you arrive in a new location. The things he notes, while not exactly Chekhov's rifle hanging on the wall, are relevant for setting the scene for much of the rest of the story. On the other hand, it does feel a bit like an infodump.**At what point does showing a character looking around and noting their surroundings go from "showing" or even "telling", to an infodump?** What are good tricks to keep a legitimate "looking around" from becoming an infodump, when you can't break it up into, for example, one smaller room at a time?
- In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also _the_ POV character in this case) arrives at a new location which he has never been in before. This is the first mention of this location within this story, so the reader can also be assumed to be completely unfamiliar with the location.
- Shortly after arriving, the POV character is looking around and noting, in this case, what the house he's entered is like on the inside. This results in a bit over half an A4 page of text where this character notes different aspects of the interior of the house.
- Everything that the character notes is things that would be visible from where he's standing, so none of it seems unreasonable at a glance that he'd note; also, looking around to get a feel for the place you're in would be a fairly normal thing to do when you arrive in a new location. The things he notes, while not exactly Chekhov's rifle hanging on the wall, are relevant for setting the scene for much of the rest of the story. On the other hand, it does feel a bit like an infodump.
- **At what point does showing a character looking around and noting their surroundings go from "showing" or even "telling", to an infodump?** What are good tricks to keep a legitimate "looking around" from becoming an infodump, when you can't break it up into, for example, one smaller room at a time?
#4: Attribution notice removed
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/32544 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/32544 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also _the_ POV character in this case) arrives at a new location which he has never been in before. This is the first mention of this location within this story, so the reader can also be assumed to be completely unfamiliar with the location. Shortly after arriving, the POV character is looking around and noting, in this case, what the house he's entered is like on the inside. This results in a bit over half an A4 page of text where this character notes different aspects of the interior of the house. Everything that the character notes is things that would be visible from where he's standing, so none of it seems unreasonable at a glance that he'd note; also, looking around to get a feel for the place you're in would be a fairly normal thing to do when you arrive in a new location. The things he notes, while not exactly Chekhov's rifle hanging on the wall, are relevant for setting the scene for much of the rest of the story. On the other hand, it does feel a bit like an infodump. **At what point does showing a character looking around and noting their surroundings go from "showing" or even "telling", to an infodump?** What are good tricks to keep a legitimate "looking around" from becoming an infodump, when you can't break it up into, for example, one smaller room at a time?