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Q&A

Dropping subtle hints about a character's sexuality

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I have a character who is assumed to be straight, but after a few months reveals herself to be bisexual.

I don't want her to just come out of nowhere and say that without any kind of hints first because a) it would seem unnatural that there are no signals being sent at all, and b) it would feel sloppy and even like you retconned this onto the character after the fact. As she's being written from the start with this reveal in mind this would be a pretty big failure.

By the same token, however, I don't want to make it too obvious before the reveal, as I still want it to be a surprise to most readers when the reveal happens, but that if they then go back and look at what they've already seen they could realise that there have been clues to it all along.

I'm just having trouble at coming up with ways to do it.

One aspect of the character that already exists and I think I could use is the fact that she's a David Bowie fan. I'm just not sure if I could or should use this as a hint, or how I would go about it if I did. I also would want for there to be more than one hint dropped. I did think that she could maybe admit to having crushes on male celebrities known for being effeminate but that seems like it might carry a few unfortunate implications (while she's bisexual she's also not promiscuous, which I know is an unfortunate stereotype that tends to get associated with bisexuality in fiction).

So basically, I'd really appreciate any help with this that you can offer. How can I hint at a character's sexuality so it will seem more natural when it's later revealed officially, but do it in a natural way that's subtle enough that people could miss it but realise the clues were there in retrospect? How do I do it in a way that's not unintentionally offensive to the LGBTQ+ community? Are there any good examples out there that I could look to for inspiration? I have been looking around but most of what I found was fans "shipping" characters that they like, in some cases with little reason to believe from the source material that such pairings are remotely likely (Not that I'm knocking people who enjoy doing that! Just pointing out that it's making it harder for me to research this topic).

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4 answers

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I don't want to make it too obvious before the reveal.

OK, question: why not?

Consider the fundamental structure of a plot twist, or a reveal. It's usually either:

  • Reader is expecting A; has been building up the understanding that A is true. Finally, we find out that A isn't true at all.
  • Reader was not anticipating B -- when B is revealed, it explains a whole bunch of things that were unclear (or misinterpreted) before.

Please note that merely revealing some random snippet of information -- however unanticipated -- doesn't make the reveal significant.
Imagine that in the third act, my protagonist dramatically reveals that his mother's name was... Martha. Is this a big reveal? You hadn't known her name was Martha; you weren't expecting her name to be Martha. But... the reader also don't care what the mother's name was, unless the story has built up some reason for that particular detail to be important.

So you can't structure a big reveal merely by the information that's going to be revealed. You also need to build in the reasons why that information is important. Why is it important that your character is bisexual? What effect does it have? How does it change our understanding of the character, of the plot, of the story?

If it changes nothing, than there's no reason to keep it a secret. Just acknowledge it from the get-go, and be done with it. No need to turn the existence of non-hetero sexuality into a story arc.

If it does change something, then that's where your clues go. Here's some examples, in which I am naming your bi character 'Marcie':

  • Maybe Marcie's bisexuality is important because her female friend Alice is getting feelings for her. Then, one hint might be that Alice finds Marcie surprisingly understanding of her own experiences as a lesbian -- even though Marcie's straight (or so Alice assumes).
  • Maybe it's important because Marcie is the daughter of a great noble, and everyone sees her as the "safe" child who will surely beget her family a heir. The possibility of her pursuing a same-sex relationship instead has been conveniently dismissed. Here, hints might be intimations that "she's not as safe as all that," hints of relationships her family might have disapproved of, anticipation of upcoming ruckus.
  • Maybe it's important because Marcie's friend, Kent, thought he knew everything about her. Her keeping this a secret from him... it's like he never really knew her at all! Here, hints might be Marcie's discomfort with Kent's assumptions, or signals she's deliberately hiding something from him, which seem completely out of character for her.

These are just examples; you'll tailor your solution to your own story. The important thing is how the particular reveal you're going towards, points you at what hints are appropriate to use.

But if it's the plain fact of the character being bisexual that's meant to be a shock, I do urge you to reconsider. "Marcie is bisexual" shouldn't be a shocking statement, any more than "Marcie is Jewish," "Marcie is diabetic," "Marcie is straight." They all can be significant, but they're only appropriate as a reveal in very particular circumstances -- treating the detail as inherently shocking is kind of belittling, even though I don't think you mean it that way!

Best of luck :)

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First off, I reckon a female artist like Lady Gaga or Madonna would work better as a hint than David Bowie. As others have pointed out, liking feminine men doesn't necessarily mean you like women as well. Gaga and Madonna are also LGBT icons, so that's another subtle layer of foreshadowing (then again, Bowie is also an LGBT icon).

An interesting hint would be to have her comment on a woman that she isn't attracted to. You could drop this into a conversation like so:

Male Character: [compliments the attractiveness of a woman]
Female Bisexual: Eh. She's nothing special.

When you first read it, under the assumption that she's straight, it sounds like she's just jealous of the woman. When you read it again, now knowing that she's bi, you realise she genuinely just doesn't think the woman is that attractive (or at least, she's not her type). This also has the handy effect of breaking that stereotype of bisexuals being promiscuous, and it's not as glaringly obvious as it would be if she said that the woman was attractive.

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People Say in Jest What They Mean in Earnest.

I am adding a separate answer because I thought of something unrelated to my first. The above is a saying with much truth in it: People often joke about things, when they are probing, or unsure of the company they keep, so that if anybody takes offense they can say "Sorry, really, I was just joking.".

You can use that for your hints. You say (in commentary) "The character in question is in her early twenties". Certainly in America, most women have lost their virginity by then (for women, the average age of first intercourse is about 16.3; only about 25% are still virgins at 21). A bisexual woman would likely have had at least ONE boyfriend by then.

If you make that known for your character, that she did have a heterosexual "serious" or "long term" relationship in the past, people (in the book and readers) will assume that involved hetero intercourse. Since it would be true for your character, she can even make that clear, without lying (to other characters or the reader).

Then you can combine the assumption that she is straight with a sense of humor that she often jokes as if she is attracted to women. All these hints at the truth are concealed as jests (she says in jest what she means in earnest).

Until your reveal comes. Then, reading back, a reader could see that every joke wasn't exactly a joke, there was some truth in it; but because she is not promiscuous, she does not follow through with any actual action, or if somebody seems alarmed or some girl seems to take her up on the joke, she responds that she was just telling a lame joke, she didn't mean anything by it.

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First, homosexual or bisexuality is not necessarily something that enters into her everyday life.

A good way to give clues toward that is to devise situations in which she can defend others that are homosexuals or bisexuals, have somebody (unimportant) comment on homosexuality as a "choice" or "disease" and have your character disagree, vehemently to calmly. Find ways to show her attitude toward female homosexuality in particular.

Nobody is going to care if your girl is sexually attracted to guys (and bisexual females are not necessarily attracted to effeminate guys, just like homosexual girls can be attracted to either butch or girly girls), as far as most of society is concerned, heterosexual attraction is the norm.

The only real issue, socially, is that she is sexually attracted to women too. You need to devise situations in which she can, effectively, declare her belief that woman-on-woman sex is perfectly normal, and if anything it is the culture that makes women deny their natural urges.

This is a version of "show don't tell". Don't ever have her "come out" as bisexual, find a scene in which it becomes obvious to the reader she just IS bisexual, and attracted to a woman.

Or she drops some history with an old friend you manufacture.

"So how's the love life?"

"Dead. I broke up with Steven, he was getting into weird drug shit. Then I was with this girl Karly for six months, then nothing this year. Did you stick with Mark?"

"Oh please. Mark was three guys ago. I'm thinking of getting on some site."

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