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I have a scene I struggle with: it has potential for inherent drama, but it reads as an info dump. In a high-fantasy setting (more or less), character Alpha, a 14-year old daughter of a nobleman c...
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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/38528 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/38528 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I have a scene I struggle with: it has potential for inherent drama, but it reads as an info dump. In a high-fantasy setting (more or less), character Alpha, a 14-year old daughter of a nobleman comes out as a lesbian to character Brava, a fertility priestess. The scene occurs relatively early in the story, and serves to convey the following information: - The fertility priestesses are the ones who do sex ed, family counselling and similar duties. (Also some other information about their magical powers etc.) - Society is moderately accepting of homosexuality - it's treated as unfortunate (because the society prizes fertility), but not "sinful" or "unnatural". - Adopted children cannot inherit land. The scene is told from Brava's POV. She is a significantly more major character than Alpha. **I guess the scene's major problem is that the drama is all on the non-POV character's side** : she receives confirmation that no, she's not going to "outgrow" homosexuality, there's nothing "wrong" with her, but the way she thought her life is going to be - marry a nobleman, raise children, be the lady of a noble household - ain't going to happen. It makes sense for a 14-year old to ask all the questions I need her to ask - that's the right age for sex-ed, but on an emotional level nothing much is happening. **How can I make the scene more interesting? What tools can I use to tweak it, so there's more going on than an info-dump?** One way would be to switch the POV - let us view the story from the side that's experiencing the internal conflict, the drama. However, it feels rather awkward to me to give the POV to a minor character with a more major character in the scene. (I do have multiple POVs. Brava is going to be holding the POV-camera multiple times more. Alpha - not so much.) What other solutions are there?