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Q&A

How do you get over the fear of exposing yourself in writing?

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I really feel like writing, in all its forms, is a very nice way to express myself especially since I'm an introvert, but I'm afraid people would know how I think and know my thinking process and label me as being wrong.

I fear exposing something that I feel ashamed about like maybe double standards that I didn't notice I had, or a weakness in my personality that I didn't mean to show, etc. How do you get over this fear?

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This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39396. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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2 answers

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I have resorted more than once to citing Neil Gaiman's 2012 address Make Good Art. Let me quote from it here too:

The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you're walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That's the moment you may be starting to get it right.

You should be exposing yourself. You should be laying yourself naked before the audience. That's when your art has truth in it, that's when it has substance. That's when it is no longer superficial.

And of course you will be judged. Unless your work is bland (in which case you will be judged for blandness), it will evoke strong emotions, and hopefully thoughts. If you make readers consider an idea, or maybe reconsider it, some will agree with you and others will disagree. If you've put emotion in your writing, people will be strongly agreeing or strongly disagreeing with you. People were passionately condemning Lord Byron, and others were defending him with equal passion. Remarque's All Quiet on the Western Front was heavily criticised for what it exposed, and is admired for what it exposed. The moment you touch a truth, people will be responding to it, and you can't expect them all to respond positively.

You fear exposing aspects of yourself that you're not happy with? You're human, you're not supposed to be perfect. That's a truth. Your imperfections are a truth you can touch in your art. We all have things we're ashamed of. You shine a light into those dark corners, make us actively notice and think of them - that's a good thing.

Don't fear it - embrace it.

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Writing can be a very intimate activity: no wonder you might feel a bit anxious! But remember, first and foremost, you're writing for yourself, rather than for someone else.

Chances are that writing things down is either something you enjoy doing, or something that helps put your mind at ease. In both cases, you shouldn't stop for fear of being read. Keep your writings private (in your personal computer, or in encrypted files if you don't have a computer that's yours only - heck, lock you diary in a drawer if you write on paper) and keep them so until you're ready.

Eventually you'll feel the urge to let your work be read, of course, but there is really no rush to do that. You are under no obligation of making people you don't trust read your work. Find some friends you can talk to, be them real-life or online friends, and submit your work to them at your pace. And again: not every piece is meant to be read by others. If they are too private, don't bother; it's just natural and it's nothing worth worring about.

Also, while your writing style can give glints of certain aspects of your psychology, it's nowhere a "window wide opened" into your head and certainly not enough for anyone to judge you.

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