People like my book, starting halfway through
This is kind of an alternate take on my other recent question, as well as the inverse problem to this question.
I've been told by more than one beta reader that there's a specific chapter where they went from "meh" on my book to really feeling invested. But that chapter is just past the halfway point. What I think people are responding to in that chapter --a deepening friendship between the main characters --has been built up through the first half of the book, so it isn't necessarily something I can solve by moving events around.
What might cause this specific pattern of reader response, and what are ways to address it? In a world where I could guarantee people would read my book, I would be OK with a slow build leading to a satisfying reader experience in the second half. Given, however, that you send the first few pages in your query, and that the modern audience demands instant gratification, it's clear that my book needs to engage people right from the very start.
To be clear, there's plenty of action in the opening of my book, but it takes time for the deeper, more emotionally resonant themes to develop. (Furthermore, as I highlighted in my other question, my character isn't initially very likeable.)
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How about putting a scene from a later chapter at the beginning and then doing a flashback to tell the story of how it began? I've read/viewed multiple franchises who do that (with varying degrees of success).
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There may be action, but perhaps what you are missing is conflict. (Conflict is the MC personally having to make choices and solve problems, not just reacting to or living through "action".) Your character might be unlikable to other characters, but for me it would be impossible to get people interested in an MC that they don't like at all.
You only need one early incident (in the first 15% of the story) of your MC actually performing an altruistic act to help somebody, even a stranger, to get the sympathy of the reader. You need to show they are at heart a good person, even if they are irritable or think the worst of many other people, when it comes down to it they have some sense of justice or charity or humanity.
When you do that, make this altruism cost him! Hours, irritation, slipping and falling in the damn mud, whatever. But he perseveres. Altruistic acts that cost nothing are not as endearing as persisting in your altruistic act despite experiencing costs, or persisting knowing it will cost you.
Also, this act doesn't have to benefit a human. For example, it can be to free an animal that has been trapped somehow, tangled in some garbage a thoughtless person discarded in a field. Or a baby animal trapped in some mud. A painful altruistic act that nobody is going to know about (except the reader) is even more endearing.
Especially if somebody asks him and he doesn't brag on it. "What happened, Mike?" -- "What's it look like? I fell in the damn mud."
A working definition of "evil" in fiction is somebody willing to hurt innocent people for their own selfish gain, pleasure, or power (or out of selfishness is willing to allow them to be hurt). You need to show the reader your MC is NOT evil, but is actively good.
Otherwise, watching somebody we don't give a crap about running about doing things is meh. The MC can be an anti-hero, but anti-heroes are shown to have some redeeming quality in the story setup. The hitman hero has a puppy that loves him (John Wick).
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Often books take a while to get into when they have a slow start, when not much is happening for the first part of the novel. However, you say that's not the case with you - you have plenty of action.
I would therefore surmise that the problem is exactly the one you point out in your other question: readers are not particularly invested in your MC. If readers don't care about your MC, it doesn't matter that there's action - the readers have no stake in it. Imagine reading that some two celebrities you've never heard of had a breakup - it doesn't matter how dramatic the breakup was, if you have no idea who those celebrities are, you couldn't care less. That's the position you're putting your readers into.
What to do? Make the MC more compelling, give us a reason to care. How? First and foremost, I think, make his internal monologue interesting. Make him someone we'd want to listen to. Maybe he has a unique view on things, maybe he's witty, maybe he's particularly observant, maybe something else - we're supposed to listen to him talk, so it'd better be good. Second, give him some compelling trait. Maybe it's his sense of humour. Maybe it's his audacity. Maybe he's a gentle and devoted son. Anything. The moment we have a reason to care about the MC, the action and conflict would come into focus, and the whole novel would be much more engaging.
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