Post History
I noticed a verbal tic in my writing: He looked surprised He looked confused He looked abashed Sometimes twice in a row: The prince looked abashed. “I- I thought I was being pol...
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-12T21:57:29Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39740 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T10:03:05Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39740 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I noticed a verbal tic in my writing: > He looked surprised > > He looked confused > > He looked abashed Sometimes twice in a row: > The prince looked abashed. “I- I thought I was being polite,” he mumbled. > “You were. You chose your words and your compliments well. I looked at you, and I saw a prince, heir of [divine ancestor]. What I did not see is _you_.” [Prince's Name] looked confused, so the captain continued to explain I don't always want to get in the character's head and say he _was_ surprised, but this is getting ridiculous. I don't seem to have a page go by without some character "looking" like he's having "insert-emotion-here". (Sometimes they also "seem" and "appear" - it's not that I don't vary the language.) I appear to be using those in dialogue, in conjunction with a verbal response, or instead of one. The facial expression is part of the dialogue, as it would be in real life. Only this isn't working in writing. And no less important than the "verbal tic" feeling, it's a sort of filter word that creates unnecessary distance between the story and the reader. How do I get rid of this tic? How do I clean my story of it?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-10-30T23:59:18Z (about 6 years ago)
Original score: 16