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Critique vs nitpicking

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During an in-class activity for my AP Lang class, each student did a cold read of a piece they chose, then all the students provided critique out loud and written on their own copy of the author's piece. I read a poem about my life, which mainly focused on my struggles with mental illness and sexuality. Most critique was fine and constructive, but one paper that I got back really made a negative impression on me; the anonymous student responded to my piece that I should have a "more positive mindset", and that my piece was bad solely because it focused on my depression/anxiety and, generally, the darker aspects of my life and what I have been through.

This bit of feedback has stuck with me, and I don't know whether or not to call it a critique. From my perspective, as someone who is very sensitive and protective of my writing, the anonymous student's feedback made me feel bad and nervous to share with strangers and acquaintances in the future.

I've had similar experiences like this, where people tell me what they dislike about my piece, but do not provide advice to fix it or any explanation of why they dislike certain portions. Is this critique, or is this nitpicking and a putdown? Can this be helpful in any way, or is it just destructive? Was I and am I being too sensitive?

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I think that the biggest problem here is that this was not critique. It was unconstructive criticism. That reader didn't enjoy the mood you set in your piece. That is fine. There are styles of writing I don't enjoy. There are times I don't want to read certain moods. But I don't criticize them for existing in a way that doesn't speak to me. That's not how art works.

On the other hand I would say that I appreciate nitpicking as long as it is constructive. But in this case I would consider nitpicking as bringing up minor issues. Not unconstructive ones. Nitpicking should never be unsolicited though.

I will also add that this person may not be skilled at giving constructive feedback. To that end you could bring it up to them in an effort to help them learn. Just remember to do it constructively, and in a tone that they may be receptive to.

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Say you wrote a piece that was about something wonderful that had happened to you. A piece that exuded happiness and contentment.

Someone—probably the very same person you discuss in your question—is going to comment, "How can you be so happy all the time? What is wrong with you? Don't you know people are suffering in the world?"

It's not critique vs nitpicking. Nitpicking would be "I didn't like your piece because you had the character get cherry vanilla ice cream from the cafeteria but we all know that the only fruit flavor there is strawberry."

This is critique vs criticism. Critique is supposed to be useful (not always helpful, though it often is). Criticism is not for the author, it's for the person saying it (or it's part of a review meant for potential readers/customers/etc).

There is always going to be someone who doesn't like your work. And that's okay.

You're not writing for them.

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Ignore It.

The anonymous person in question didn't understand the task. The objective is to criticize your writing, not to psychoanalyze you and recommend a therapy.

It doesn't make a difference if your piece is dark, light, or gray, funny or somber. It makes no difference what sexual orientation you express, or political orientation, or anything else your piece might reveal or be about.

The job of critique is to improve the writing for clarity and consistency. To help get the point across regardless of what the point is. To point out confusions, contradictions, or bland writing, problems in sentence formation, a lack of variety in sentence length, clichés, unnecessary repetitiveness, an overuse of adjectives, pacing problems.

Critique is about the writing, not the topic. Ignore the idiots, friend, they out-number us 3 to 1 and pretty much run the world, it's pointless to fight them.

Ignore people that don't understand the job or know how to do it. And, don't be afraid to ask for critique of your writing, though you might explain the above to anybody that might not know what "critique" means.

Valid critique (like from an agent or publisher or editor) can be legitimately brutal (notes like "cut all this, it is boring," "far too long", "confused and ineffective", etc), but that is not about your personal life, that is about crafting beautiful writing that works, it is about craft, and it can be taken in the spirit of tough love to help you improve.

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