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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/43519
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm reading KM Weiland's [Creating Character Arcs](https://rads.stackoverflow.com/amzn/click/com/B01M6VC68U). In it, she lists:

> **Questions to Ask About the Thing the Character Wants and the Thing the Character Needs**
> 
> 1. How is the Lie holding your character back?
> 
> 2. How is the Lie making your character unhappy or unfulfilled?
> 
> 3. What Truth does your character Need to disprove the Lie?
> 
> 4. How will he learn this Truth?
> 
> 5. What does your character Want more than anything?
> 
> _Weiland, K.M. Creating Character Arcs: The Masterful Author's Guide to Uniting Story Structure, Plot, and Character Development (Helping Writers Become Authors Book 7) (p. 37). PenForASword Publishing. Kindle Edition._

In my character's case I know she's a mother that **wants to** _keep her family together by helping the husband expand his land and wealth_, and she **needs to** _accept that people need independence and her kids may choose their path regardless of her efforts._

Now, my problem is that I have no clue what is the lie is or how is it holding her back, before reading that I thought I would find out as I write, now I fear I might compromise the story because of missing a foundational piece of information about my character. How deeply should I understand my character before writing her?

**Update:** To further clarify my main character to the reader:

- She's 42
- She loves her husband deeply and he loves her back, but he's older than her (10 ~ 15 years).
- She has three children: one stepson, and two biological children (a son and a daughter).
- Her husband is self-made, and she was there from the beginning.
- In their backstory, she had a relationship with someone of her age, but that didn't manifest as conflict before the story proper.
- **Want:** her children to pursue futures of her choosing that will help advance the family legacy (but, think Eastern mothers in the US pushing for doctors and engineers). 
- **Need:** to allow her children (and, to an extent, her husband) their free will and independence.

Original score: 6