Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/3248
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/3248
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

The English is fine, but as Janet at EL&U said, it does feel artificial. Not because of the phrasing, but because of the content - C is announcing her intention to do something very uninteresting (sit down and read), and is pointlessly explicit in describing the sofa. Most people wouldn't feel the need to announce something like that; they'd just sit down and start reading.

Now, in language lessons, artificiality is par for the course - you want plain, simple, clear sentences, with focus on the words you're trying to teach, and not too many difficult words _besides_ the ones you're teaching. Linguistic eloquence is not a major factor, so this piece would be fine. (Also, most actors could pull this line off just fine without even seeming artificial - it just takes more consideration than the casual reader will give it.)

If you really want a plausible rewrite, either strike the line entirely, or put in some obvious reason for the line, or perhaps some character:

> - It's very nice! I'm going to sit down in this plush sofa and read - will you come sit with me?
> - It's very nice! Let's not unpack right away - I want to sit down in this plush sofa an read for a while.
> - It's very nice! And look what a beautiful, plush sofa - oh, I just want to curl up in it with a good book this very moment!

Original score: 4