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How to deceive the MC

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My protagonist is finally meeting with the big boss of a mafia. At least, he thinks he is. The boss actually sends someone to pretend to be him.

I'm writing from the protagonist's (limited) POV. If I say "MC met the boss," that's dishonest and the reader will feel that I lied to them when it's later revealed that the boss doesn't actually show his face until the very end of the book. But if I say "MC met the fake boss," that's not only awkward... but it also implies that the MC knows. The MC does eventually figure it out... but how to I reference the fake boss while the MC still thinks that he's meeting with the real boss?

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This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/45270. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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3 answers

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In a third-person limited (or first-person) narrative, deceiving the MC and deceiving the reader are pretty much the same thing, since the reader only knows as much as the protagonist. In this case, there's nothing wrong with a little deception.

One of my favourite adventure games, Another Code: Two Memories, actually does exactly what you describe:

Midway through the game, the protagonist ''finally'' meets up with her father, which is her main objective for most of the game up to that point... except it wasn't actually him. Her ''actual'' father shows up a short time later, and the guy she met earlier turns out to be the main villain.

I didn't feel like the game had cheated me, or lied to me; I felt like it was a very clever and surprising twist.

What you could try and do is include subtle little hints that there's something not quite right about this guy. Something he says, or does, that doesn't fit the established facts. Ideally, something subtle enough that a reader won't pick up on it on first reading, but in hindsight will make them think, "Oh yeah, of course this guy was a fake!"

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+1 colmde. I'd say you can just be careful with your wording, so technically you did not lie to the reader. Don't have the narrator call him "the boss". I will add an example:

The fat man listened to the piece in his ear, then said, "The boss will be here in a minute. Show some respect."

MC said nothing, he just took his seat. A gray-haired man entered; MC noted not a hair out of place, manicured, his suit and shoes looked tailored and expensive.

The fat man said, "Boss," and lowered his eyes.

Finally, thought the MC. This is the man to kill.

The gray-haired man took his seat. "Alright. Here I am. You got three minutes to tell me why I shouldn't tell Bobby here to bag your head and shoot it. Will you do that for me, Bobby?"

The fat man said, "Yes sir. Three minutes."

"Good man. Wait until I tell you." He turned to meet MC's eyes. Not a blink. Completely relaxed and expressionless, a psychopath in waiting.

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When the narrator is wrong about something in the book's world, it's called an unreliable narrator. When a narrator has a single point of view (sees through one character's eyes) then it's inevitable that some information is unreliable. Readers understand that.

With a 3rd person narrator you're also doing some factual description based on what the character experiences. It's fine to say that the man came forward to shake MC's hand and introduce himself as so-and-so. Because that actually happens. It's fine to describe the MC referring to the man with that name, because that also happens. Ditto for any thoughts of the MC's you share with the reader. Because of this, you can also have the narrator use the (false) name.

The only thing you want to avoid is any information that could not possibly come from the MC. And that would include knowing that the MC is being tricked.

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