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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45713
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I have characters like this, and a lot of teen characters at that. There are teens who will talk like this (Nerds who read. Socially Awkward kids. Motivational speeches trying to sound important, debate team nerds, drama nerds, and occasionally class clowns who are mocking the older diction).

One of my favorite scenes I ever wrote went drama nerd approach where the two buddies in the drama club are discussing the roles they want in the schools upcoming production of Othello. The protagonist wants to try out for the character of Iago, the Villain of the work. His buddy is insisting that he go for Othello because he's a great actor and really should get the lead role (for the record, the protagonist is African-American but the work is set in a future of about 50+ years from modern time... this part was to subtly set up that no one really cared about skin color. Othello is traditionally an African Man in an otherwise all European cast.) Any so they're having this fight when a third friend, who's never read the play, sits down and they ask her what she thinks on the matter. The buddy makes his case, followed by the Hero, who argues that Iago is the best villain of all time. The third friend looks at our hero with wide eyes and responds "The PARROT?!"

It got a better laugh from the table than I thought it would, but I felt that the argument from two teenagers was getting a little too intellectual for their age. It had served the purpose of establishing their intelligent side that we would need to rely on having, the nature of the world they lived in, and established some nice forshadowing or irony for later. Character number three was brought in to bring it back home because, even though teenagers are capable of having intellectual debates about Shakespeare and other works of literature, there still are those that are so well read and will default to something less high brow (Not a slam against Disney, I think they are generally producers of quality products, but they aren't Shakespeare).

Another good way to fix these is to do something from "Angel" season 5. The Character Gunn has something important to discuss with Angel and approaches his office only for the secrtary to tell him he's in a meeting with long time argument partner Spike (the two are vampires and are from the same line... and they typically can't agree on much but can work together). Gunn can't wait and barges in on Angel in Spike engaged in one of their more heated arguments and getting into a very, very intellectually fueled debate about some threat to them that will need to be solved and how to best go about that. Gunn finally interrupts and asked what the problem is and if it's something that he should raise with the rest of their gang. Angel and Spike look around in a sheepish matter and finally admit what they've been shouting about for 45 minutes prior to the scene starting: "Who would win in a fight between Cavemen and Astronauts?" Gunn tries to help settle it for them and asks if, in this scenario, weapons were allowed. Both combatants in unision agree the answer is a resounding No, in a tone that suggests that they decided only after one nearly killed the other over the point.

Here, the dialog works for two reasons: First, the two characters are easily at each other's throats all the time on the show, and often have bouts back and forth over other alarming concerns they have to deal with. Without context, the two characters sound like they are actually dealing with a very serious matter of great importance. Secondly, it works because the debate Modern vs. Primordial Who will win becomes a driving element of the entire plot of the episode and the initial debate is being discussed by other characters who heard of the silliness subject of the fight... only for both characters to take sides... priming the audience for when the hypothetical debate becomes very very closer to home and the crisis of the week.

TLDR: Use it with some humorous retorts and twisting.

Original score: 1