When should a character refer his dad or someone close in third impersonal person?
When should a character refer his dad or someone close in third impersonal person? Let's say you have a character and his dad is the President of the United States. In what situation is it appropriate for the character to refer to his dad as "the President"? What if the dad isn't a President, but a musician, or another lesser known/important profession?
I am concerned about realistic interactions between people. I don't want my characters acting strangely in my novel, since the readers will notice.
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You refer to someone indirectly when you want to emphasize distance.
In your example, saying "the President" instead of "my dad" is a more formal and correct approach, since it underlines the man position of responsibility in a government. This sets a distance between the speaker and the referred person, as it ignores their deeper relationship.
In more mundane situations, the same logic applies. There will be always be contexts were putting distance between a character putting distance between him and his father is advisable and more "appropriate".
E.g., a journalist talking about a company his father runs will say
Regarding the incident, the CEO of Rubble S.p.a. has declared ...
Because that's the formal, neutral approach. Saying :
Regarding the incident, my father declared ...
would be considered unprofessional for a journalist, unless the familiar bond is somewhat relevant to the discussion. Yet, that self same journalist will probably tell the story differently to his wife when coming back home:
"I just had to publish an article about my father today."
Using the official position or profession of someone could be used to communicate distance, as in the case of an estranged son. When the profession is not relevant enough, the same effect of distance can be created by using a character full name instead of "my dad".
"Where did you leave the car?"
"At Jack Brown's place."
Again, this creates distance. Maybe the whole point is that the speaking character doesn't want others to know he's related to Jack Brown. Maybe he proves resentment towards the man.
It's not unrealistic for the reader if you do for the right reasons. So, it mostly depends on the context and on the intent of the speaker.
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@Liquid covers most of my answer.
Sometimes you would refer to your father by his title or office, not to emphasize distance, but to emphasize that role of influence, especially if their blood relationship is known.
If everybody knows Jake is the son of the CEO, then Jake saying "The CEO isn't going to like this," means Jake is threatening the person with his relationship to the CEO.
This would apply when the father is a Judge, the Chief of Police, a Congressman or Mayor or crime Boss or anybody with power. It would not apply if the father is a gig musician, an office clerk, a salesman or anybody else with no particular influence over anything.
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