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You're running into problems because you're putting too much focus on the details of the transition, instead of just marking it as a transition and moving into the next scene. Try using a single r...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-20T00:40:47Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47081 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T12:37:13Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47081 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
You're running into problems because you're putting too much focus on the details of the transition, instead of just marking it as a transition and moving into the next scene. Try using a single reference to the arrival. For example: > "Yeah, it might be true," he said as he gazed out the window. "We're here. Let's not talk about this anymore." Or you can skip to an action that makes it obvious they've arrived. > "I am not sure if we should really talk about this, because you know, it's a real pain in the ass to talk about personal issues, you know." > > "I guess." > > They rode in silence for several more minutes. As they were unloading the car, Fred turned to Gina. "Let's not talk about this anymore." Or you can end the scene while they're in the car and skip to the next one, whenever it may be. > "I am not sure if we should really talk about this, because you know, it's a real pain in the ass to talk about personal issues, you know." > > "I guess." > > At dinner that night... Put in enough information that it's really clear to the reader where and when the characters are. But don't feel you need to spell it out. Your audience will fill in the gaps. So let them. It's part of what allows a reader to bond with the story.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-08-03T06:36:06Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 23