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My character has super-senses, so anything that we feel, see, hear, etc. are heightened for him. So much so that when a flash bomb is set a few meters from him, he is greatly affected by this. Symp...
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/47474 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
My character has super-senses, so anything that we feel, see, hear, etc. are heightened for him. So much so that when a flash bomb is set a few meters from him, he is greatly affected by this. Symptoms are loss of balance (b/c it affects the ears), a ringing? sound, and only seeing white for about 5 seconds and then some after images. How do I convey the loss of balance without too much description? I want it to cut-cut-cut without using "--" too much. The ringing as well. How do I convey that without an obnoxious onomatopoeia? I can imagine it clearly in my head as if it was a scene from a movie but dang action scenes are difficult for me. But I couldn't avoid it and so here. Also, here's an example for one of my drafts. Forgive me if it falls flat or short or confusing. > Breathe— > Breathebreathebreathebreathebreathe > FUCK! > What—exhale— too bright, too fucking bright—can’t—can’t see— > Falling. > Falling deep. > Falling hard. > It hurts. > Everything is spinning. > What the—what’s hap— > Stop—stop, it hurts, fuckfuckfuck— > > A deafening ring resounds. > > “…ter—stand up, get up, please!” > > There are feet running past him. > > (Running into him, digging into his flesh, hurting, hurting, hurting—) > > He can hear the fear in their hearts, and feel the pain in their screams. He lies on the ground, feeling agony like a faraway dream. > And even though it hurts, his body is healing far too fast to fail him. > He doesn’t know what to do. > He can see things, but he doesn’t quite understand why it’s happening. etc.