Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Post History

50%
+0 −0
Q&A How to write disorientation with sensory overload?

My character has super-senses, so anything that we feel, see, hear, etc. are heightened for him. So much so that when a flash bomb is set a few meters from him, he is greatly affected by this. Symp...

2 answers  ·  posted 5y ago by Lisa_Yo‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:46:54Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/47474
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Lisa_Yo‭ · 2019-12-08T12:46:54Z (almost 5 years ago)
My character has super-senses, so anything that we feel, see, hear, etc. are heightened for him. So much so that when a flash bomb is set a few meters from him, he is greatly affected by this.  
Symptoms are loss of balance (b/c it affects the ears), a ringing? sound, and only seeing white for about 5 seconds and then some after images.  
How do I convey the loss of balance without too much description? I want it to cut-cut-cut without using "--" too much. The ringing as well. How do I convey that without an obnoxious onomatopoeia? I can imagine it clearly in my head as if it was a scene from a movie but dang action scenes are difficult for me. But I couldn't avoid it and so here.  
Also, here's an example for one of my drafts. Forgive me if it falls flat or short or confusing.

> Breathe—  
> Breathebreathebreathebreathebreathe  
> FUCK!  
> What—exhale— too bright, too fucking bright—can’t—can’t see—  
> Falling.  
> Falling deep.  
> Falling hard.  
> It hurts.  
> Everything is spinning.  
> What the—what’s hap—  
> Stop—stop, it hurts, fuckfuckfuck—
> 
> A deafening ring resounds.
> 
> “…ter—stand up, get up, please!”
> 
> There are feet running past him.
> 
> (Running into him, digging into his flesh, hurting, hurting, hurting—)
> 
> He can hear the fear in their hearts, and feel the pain in their screams. He lies on the ground, feeling agony like a faraway dream.  
> And even though it hurts, his body is healing far too fast to fail him.  
> He doesn’t know what to do.  
> He can see things, but he doesn’t quite understand why it’s happening.

etc.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-08-21T16:50:42Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 2