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Q&A How to deal appropriately with an inappropriate sexual relationship

So a couple things, but the big problem is in the United States, the age of consent is usually 16, not 18 (It's 18 in California, which where most of the world's porn is filmed. It's also the home...

posted 4y ago by hszmv‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:57:07Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47968
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar hszmv‭ · 2019-12-08T12:57:07Z (over 4 years ago)
So a couple things, but the big problem is in the United States, the age of consent is usually 16, not 18 (It's 18 in California, which where most of the world's porn is filmed. It's also the home of a lot of writers of Crime Dramas). The most common age of consent in the U.S. is actually 16, but each state sets their own age, so you'll need to check the laws in the state. Given that New York and New Jersey share commuters often, it might come down to where she did it with the older man (though if he crossed a state line to meet her, it will be 18... as it's a Federal Crime and the Feds do set it at 18, but rarely have jurisdiction as they rarely prosecute crimes committed in one state only and this wouldn't rise to that issue.

And before you start singing "She is 15 going on 16. He is 18, going on 19, therefor it is a crime" I'm gonna have to tell you to hold your singing Von Trap. In the United States, most states have a "Romeo and Juliette" law that doesn't hold someone over the age of consent to a statutory rape charge if they are relatively close in age. This is because, as you point out, teens have sex, and sometimes, they date upper classmen... and they have sex because yes, this happens. There could be a situation where he is born in January and she is born in October and start dating and have a summer fling in the year where they both turn 16 (age of consent). This means that he is technically committing statutory rape, on someone who is in his same academic class and most people will say "but they are the same age". The "Romeo and Juliette" rule will stop this and usually covers only couples of similar age that are above around 11-12.

And notice how I use statutory rape and not pedophilia? That's because the situation described is not pedophilia in a legal senses. Clinically, pedophilia is an attraction to pre-pubescent children while a different term is used for teenagers (I want to say Ebophilia but I can't spell it and really don't want to put it into google to spell check it.). The crime of committing either act is statutory rape (which is different for "rape" in that a defense to rape is showing the victim consented, while in statutory rape, the victim was legally never able to consent even if he or she initiated the encounter. Even if a 13 year old wants to get it on with a 45 year old, the 45 year old should know that the 13 year old can't give permission for that activity according to the law, thus this "defense" is basically tantamount to saying "I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy" in a murder case (basically an admission of guilt).

I would recommend that the best way to show this is to show her encounter with a boy or several boy(s) without getting into graphic descriptions (basically show that they are sharing beds, are naked, make pillow talk) but don't discuss with specificity what's happening. When it comes time to show the Old Man, hard fade-to-black the moment the pair closing the bed room door and open up after she is dressed and leaving the room... if you can, do a switch to another character, and then switch back to her exit after the incident is concluded.

I would say that you could certainly get away with discussing her thoughts on the sex with the old man after the fact and he can certainly say creepy inappropriate things to her after it.

Legally, if I recall, fictional depictions of statutory rape are not illegal in the United States, so long as the acts never happened, to actual people (i.e. you can have you Law and Order SVU about a teen rapist so long as the on screen attack is done as a simulation not an actual act of sex). In fact, for your limits, I would generally look at shows on TV where teens would have sex that portray it more or less accurately (crime drama "Law and Order: SVU" and Teen Soap Opera "Degrassi" (any of the various incarnations, as they tend to be written for the time period they aired in) both have multiple episodes that depict sex with teens with an informative angle to their depiction. The former to educate on sex crimes and the latter is more geared to teens and difficult issues they face growing up.) for dos and don'ts. If you are writing this for teen readers (Young Adult) then keep in mind that you can get away with a lot more in books than you can in TV and film because parents are just happy their kids are reading something and not playing violent video games (if mom only know just how much graphic violence I was exposed to in "The Animorphs" series (made for middle schoolers at best), she would have taken my books and given me my Gameboy and told me to catch all the Pokemon. I may have dated myself with my references.) and a book about a teenage girl who has sex during the course of the novel... I mean... I think I'd have an easier time listing YA books where that doesn't happen... even Harry Potter slipped in something that was vaguely sexual depending on how you interpret the phrasing.

Given the way your detecting the unhealthy personal relationships from this character's decision and the fact you describe her in terms that suggest she knows her responses are wrong, it seems like it'll get a pass, since your showing teen sex in a light that doesn't glorify it.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-09-12T15:49:48Z (over 4 years ago)
Original score: 1