Advice on interface text in a videogame
[This fits somewhere between technical writing and user experience, so perhaps this is the wrong board]
I'm developing a modification to a popular videogame (a Playstation One RPG), with the expressed goal of making in-game interface text easier to understand. There's one particular interface message, however, that I just can't reword elegantly.
Here's the situation: in the game, players may battle monster creatures. In a battle, any participant may use certain kinds of 'special abilities' by drawing on a resource called 'MP'. Each 'special ability' has a particular MP cost associated. Creatures and player characters choose an ability, then, a few seconds later, the game checks their MP resources and decides if it can be used. A character's MP may change between choosing and executing an ability depending on other characters' / monsters' interactions with them (in particular, one party can 'drain' the MP of another, making their turn fail).
Should a monster or character fail to raise enough MP, the game displays a message:
{Creature / character's name}'s skill power is used up.
This isn't helpful. In the game, 'skills' refer to a very specific sub-set of the abilities that actually cost MP. 'Used up' suggest that the creature has no MP remaining, when in fact it may have plenty - just not enough to execute one particularly costly ability.
I've tried several rewrites, but they're all either unclear or horribly clunky. For example,
X hasn't enough MP
Which seems vague (though perhaps, in context, users will understand it nevertheless)
X hasn't enough MP to perform its attack
which is prolix,
X lacks the MP to perform its chosen move
which is precise but ugly.
I'm struggling to think of any better alternatives that don't mislead the player. I'm not seeking beauty, but I do want clarity.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/3551. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
3 answers
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From your question I assume that the player knows the term "MP", i.e. it’s not for internal use only.
Storm my brain:
Out of MP for this task
Needz more MP!!!1!
X: insufficient MP to use [name of ability]
More MP, less failure
Get more MP, X, and try again
Cost for manoeuvre exceeds MP ("maneuver" for AE)
All your MP are belong to us!
X lacks MP for [name of ability]
X lacks MP for its chosen move
Don’t move, we have MP
X, you are out of MP; tough luck, buddy
MP - chosen ability 0:1
X: MP missing for chosen tactic
X: MP below ability threshold
That’s it. Not very stormy tonight, sorry, need some rest.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/3553. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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[X]'s chosen move requires [n] MP.
[X] cannot afford MP cost for chosen move.
[X] doesn't have enough MP for that.
Clear, simple. Although frankly, the examples OP gives of his own attempts look fine to me too (besides referring to the PC as an "it").
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Can the game do math? I might suggest "X needs n more MP to do that."
"You must have n MP for that move."
"Dammit, Scotty, I need more MP!" [yeah, I know, Paraborg's lawyers will come after you]
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