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The premise of my scene is basically that MC is electrocuted by scientists trying to trigger some sort of power in him. I've been writing his view (3rd person) the whole time before, alas I'm only ...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T13:12:07Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/48821 License name: CC BY-SA 4.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Mina
·
2019-12-08T13:12:07Z (almost 5 years ago)
The premise of my scene is basically that MC is electrocuted by scientists trying to trigger some sort of power in him. I've been writing his view (3rd person) the whole time before, alas I'm only describing things he notices. And there's the part I'm not sure about. He wakes up by being electrocuted and basically can't think through the pain, so everything I write will be the thoughts he has that slip through his hands like sand. Can I write it like that or should I change the view? I don't want it to be graphic, but I do want the reader to feel sympathy. (I haven't written the scene out yet, but it will be something along the line of 'Pain was the only thing he could notice as he woke up. Was he even really awake? It didn't quite feel like anything outside the pain existed. He was distantly aware that he was being electrocuted, but couldn't find out how he knew. He couldn't quite dwell on it too.')
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-11-03T20:13:13Z (almost 5 years ago)
Original score: 3