Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/49063
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Try looking for places where you're overly wordy. Your third sentence for example is clunky and seems to be trying to fit in words for the sake of getting close to the maximum. I'd re-arrange it and cut some of the excess. You shouldn't be using infinitive verbs (verbs that are written "to [verb]" when they can be placed as the main action of the sentence (you're doing this in sentence 3.). You should also look to keep bamboo as a noun, and not an adjective describing a plant.

I can rearrange Sentence three to eliminate 4-5 words. I'm not showing you a better way because this sounds like an assignment and I'm not going to do your homework for you, though I point you in general directions. Colon marks (:) denote a list of things, and shouldn't be used unless you have two or more things that fall under your list's category (here it's Panda advice). Since this is a quote attributed to the Panda, write it like you would with dialog. Single quote marks (') denote a quote within a quote ( i.e. Tony said, "Melinda said, 'Ted is a doofus.'"). Note that if the quote-in-quote ends the sentence, then close the quote-in-quote before closing the quote (").

If you understand how to diagram sentences, this will show you which words are important. A sentence needs a subject (the person who does a thing), a verb (the action that was done), and a predicate (the recipient of the actions of the subject). Free hint: If you have a subject that says something, the entirety of of what is written in "quotes" is the predicate (it's a little tricky if you don't know this). Anything that is not the subject-verb-predicate are extra and may be trimmed back. Predicates are always nouns, unless they are quotes that the subject spoke, then they are entirely that quote."

Original score: 3