How to switch pov characters mid-scene without jarring the reader?
I am writing a novel wherein there are many characters whose thoughts are key to telling it properly. In an earlier draft, I attempted to have any given chapter told from the point of view of exactly one character, but that turned out to be problematic. Usually it led to chapters I found uncomfortably short, or I would wind up writing mostly about nothing as I forgot that character was no longer important for the current scene.
In my current draft, I decided to go with a pseudo-omniscient narrator to solve these problems. It could only step into one character's head at a time, but it would be able to switch characters mid-scene, if necessary, rather than waiting for a section or chapter break.
Some of the transitions from one character to another have felt a bit awkward, though. Most of the better ones I have involve dialogue; it's easy to switch the frame to another character naturally after that character has just spoken. Are there any other techniques that can make these transitions flow better?
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Well, first off I would try to avoid that if you can, but that's not always possible, so here's one thing that I've found worked for me in the past.
I had both characters looking at something and thinking about it (and in this case, each other). I started with one character's thoughts, then moved to a mix of both of them as they overlapped, then finished in the other character's head. It took a couple tries to get it really working.
My real goal with this was to make the reader only realize that things had changed after it had happened, they would just find themselves naturally in the other character's mind and not question it. Though I admit it took a few tries to get it working.
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This is definitely a high wire act. I had to do it for one scene a novel where I had two lovers who were both misunderstanding the other's motives and actions. The only way to make full sense of what happens in the scene was to be in both heads. Whether I was successful in pulling this off remains to be seen. But these are the rules of thumb I made up for myself to guide me as I wrote. Whether they are either necessary or sufficient has yet to be established.
You have to have been in both heads before, however briefly.
The reader has to want to go into each head. It we could understand what was going on fully by watching the external behavior of the characters, that is where we should stay. But the strength of the novel form, as opposed to movie, for instance, is that it can delve into things that cannot be revealed by external actions alone -- and there are many such things with tentative lovers who are often concealing things from each other for fear of the reaction they will get. So if you are going to go into two heads, it has to be because the reader will want to go into both heads because otherwise they won't know what is really going on.
Don't jump more often than necessary.
Advance the story significantly at each jump. If you are jumping back and forth but the story is not advancing, that is likely to be confusing and dull.
Get out as soon as you can.
End in the same head you stated in at the beginning. I'm not entirely certain about this one, but intuitively it seems right to me.
If the reader cannot understand the actions of each character without going into their heads, it follows that the other character can't understand them either. Make sure that that misunderstanding is portrayed effectively.
Prefer narrative interjection over head hopping, but make it anecdotal, not analytical. In other words, rather than hop into a character's head to express their confusion, tell an anecdote about them that will explain why they misunderstand the situation.
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Character jumping can be done gracefully, but it's important to master the concept of one character perspective per scene first. It's tempting to jump around, but you will find that your writing gets better when you slap a constraint of no head jumping mid-scene. The writing is better because you're forced to build intimacy with the current character instead of trying to show everything at once.
Head jumping jars the reader naturally because you're breaking the intimacy with the current character, and forcing your audience to understand the situation through a whole new perspective.
For your specific issue, try picking the most important character in the scene so it doesn't fall flat. The issues you ran into by staying with one character (short chapters or no impact) seem like a core issue in the approach toward the story. When the story requires so many characters to tell their thoughts in one scene, imagine the potential for reader confusion as they try to relate to the concepts.
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I'm going through the same thing now.
I've had excellent responses from readers and negative responses from my editors. My editors want me to use the traditional section break or just write from one character's POV per chapter.
I thought about that but decided to stick to my style of head-hopping. Ultimately, I am responsible to myself, my story and my readers. To me, it's all about message and audience. So far, my test readers love the story. To me, that's all that counts.
It's not easy breaking rules. You have to understand and respect the theory behind the criticism, before you decide to disregard it. Most importantly, if you're going to break the rule, you better be damn good at it. I am. I have technical reasons for head-hopping and I've had great reader response. If something was missing or just not working, I'd relent and rewrite as per my editors.
I've found that head-hopping works best for me when it's limited to 2 characters at a time (usually no more than 3, although in one scene I jumped into the minds of 5 of my characters - and yes, I rocked it). I find it works well with he said/she said and inner/outer dialogue.
Life's short; do what brings you joy. If that's how you want to tell your story, then do that. Test it out. Find some readers you trust. What do they think? Is it working for them? Is it working for you? If so, then good for you succeeding! If not, then good for you for trying!
I hope that helps. :)
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