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I find it interesting and intriguing, I want to know more. However, what stroke me the most is the absence of important details. He enters the strip club, no mention about the presence or absenc...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:23:40Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31744 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Philippe
·
2019-12-08T02:23:40Z (almost 5 years ago)
I find it interesting and intriguing, I want to know more. However, what stroke me the most is the absence of important details. 1. He enters the strip club, no mention about the presence or absence of a doorman. 2. He sits at the bar, no mention about the presence or absence of a barmaid. 3. Is the fog unusual? We don't know. To answer the question, is it dark? Not really. There is nothing scary about walking at night and entering an empty strip club (I do it all the time, lol). We need to know why we should find it dark, try to add more details about the atmosphere.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2017-11-30T13:43:00Z (almost 7 years ago)
Original score: 1