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An example: Naomi's words hung in the air as I gazed out of the hotel window. The mountain lay quietly in the dark, like a calm, sleeping giant. A cluster of city lights glittered beyond. I...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:57:17Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/8263 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Alexandro Chen
·
2019-12-08T02:57:17Z (over 4 years ago)
An example: > Naomi's words hung in the air as I gazed out of the hotel window. The mountain lay quietly in the dark, like a calm, sleeping giant. A cluster of city lights glittered beyond. In the forest nearby, pine trees bowed slightly in the wind, and the loud cries of cicadas reverberated among the trunks. > > "The Giant Ancient Tree?" I said, making sure I had heard right. > > Naomi nodded. > > I turned to look at her. "I thought it was just a myth." I would like to know if this reads smoothly, and whether it feels clumsy to start with a reference to what someone just said, and then follow that with a setting description (of course, with the topic being reveled immediately after).
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-06-27T09:46:44Z (almost 11 years ago)
Original score: 4