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Stop making him passive, and make him a hero. He doesn't "go to visit his sister," he learns about his sister's trouble and affliction, and drops what he is doing to go save her. He doesn't "mee...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/36017 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/36017 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
Stop making him passive, and make him a hero. He doesn't "go to visit his sister," he learns about his sister's trouble and affliction, and drops what he is doing to go save her. He doesn't "meet a girl with no soul," he is walking about waiting for something involving his sister, and sees a girl in the woods, but she runs from him. He investigates, asks about her. People tell him she has no soul, he doesn't believe it. He searches for her, and she needs help. she doesn't tell him why he is there, she resists his company, and he chooses to fix her. Heroes are proactive. They may by necessity get told what to do, but as often as possible, have them choose, by their own light, to take the risks and accept the harm. Say he is attracted to this girl, she tells him what must be done to save her. He doesn't think anybody else will do it, and he wants to save her. Now you have a hero's dilemma: He came to save his sister, now he has a love interest to save as well. What does he do? Can he do both?