How to clarify the objects of a sentence's two pronouns?
I am trying to describe a process. There are two players in the scenario. Player A tries to find player B. If player A finds player B, then player A tags player B. Something like that.
Here is an example:
A fox tries to find a rabbit that is sleeping, and when it finds one it eats it.
Now, I know what each "it" refers to. But how can I rewrite the sentence so it would not sound confusing?
Also, what is the rule when there are two things (fox and rabbit)in the sentence?
Sorry for my naive question, I am very new to this.
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1 answer
Hi hebbo and welcome to Writers SE! Generally asking what to write is off topic, but I think this is an exception, because it is actually a common problem in writing (at least for me). It's not a naive question by a long shot; every now and then I have this same problem myself.
The answer is usually to just rewrite the sentence until you get it. Try to determine the root of the problem, as that might help. In this scenario, I can tell that the construction of your sentence may be the issue. It is two independent phrases:
A fox tries to find a rabbit that is sleeping and and when it finds one it eats it.
In order to fix the sentence, I would try weaving the last phrase in with the first:
A fox, trying to find a rabbit that is sleeping, will eat it when it finds one.
Still have two it's in there...
A fox searches, and when it finds a rabbit that is sleeping, will eat it.
So in this case I put in another verb searches, which allowed me to put the whole rabbit part in a separate phrase. So for your construction, it would follow something along these lines:
Player A [verb], and when [pronoun] finds player B, will tag [pronoun].
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