Dealing with quick shifts in emotion
I have a character that, by design, quickly jumps between emotions. To put it into human terms, I have pictured scenes where he will, literally, within the span of a sentence, go from hysterically laughing to bored/work-mode. It's meant to capture his mental instability but I am having problems conveying that in a way that is satisfying to the reader, yet also conveys the fact that he hops around on the emotional spectrum a lot. A simple example would be:
C1 doubled over cackling maniacally at the scene in front of him. The fires of hell had nothing on the carnage unfolding around him. "I thought you said you were going to bail them out," C2 muttered in exasperation. C1 straightened up. "I get it. Business before pleasure." His exasperation matched C2's as he stepped into the fray.
For whatever reason, that doesn't seem like enough. It's like I can either capture his quick shifts in emotion or explain it out to the reader and it feels like neither accomplish the goal
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/17639. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
Just because a shift in expression or body language happens quickly doesn't mean you have to describe it quickly. You could expand the above to something more descriptive. For example:
C1 doubled over cackling maniacally at the scene in front of him. The fires of hell had nothing on the carnage unfolding around him. His stance was relaxed, one knee on a cracked cornerstone. The light flickered around him, illuminating the broken stone church and the satisfied expression on C1's face.
"I thought you said you were going to bail them out," C2 muttered in exasperation.
C1 straightened up, surprised to hear the remark. He turned to regard C2, planting both feet square on the ground.
"I get it. Business before pleasure." His expression a match for C1's look of grim determination, C2 stepped into the fray.
To the reader, it's clear that this all takes place in a few seconds, but examining the scene more closely gives a better picture.
(Of course, I've invented details that likely have nothing to do with your story to make a point, but this is just an example.)
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