In my screenplay(spec, I believe) can I use "we see..." in action line?
I'm not sure if this is okay, (also: we hear...) I realize that typically the sentence would say the same thing if removed but it seems to work in the midst of an action line like:
Close on Bathsheba's distraught face in the rain we hear another CAR DOOR OPEN.
Over her shoulder we see Bishop Caringless standing at the window she came out of. Focused on him we hear Bathsheba scream along with a struggle.
We then see the two men carry her to their car.
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1 answer
Do not use it! Do not use "we hear", either. See:
http://reelauthors.com/screenplay-coverage/do-not-use-we-see.php
Don't give camera directions (focused on...) Sounds are just in CAPS. If you want the above sequence, use CUTS.
CLOSE ON BATHSHEBA's distraught face in the rain. A CAR DOOR OPENS.
CUT TO:
BISHOP CARINGLESS standing at the window she left [insert visual description here, eg 'stone faced' or 'angry' or 'haughty']
O.S. BATHSHEBA SCREAMS and is SILENCED. Sounds of STRUGGLE. BISHOP CARINGLESS turns calmly and leaves the window.
CUT TO:
TWO MEN carry the unconscious BATHSHEBA to their car.
(edit: I fixed formatting a bit... char names in caps, etc)
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