How to create tension during a conversation
In my novel my protagonist speaks to a man while being held at gun point. She (protagonist) tried to kill him. He was her boss, was involved in her best friend's death and wants the protagonist dead. He considers her race animals, she tries to reason with him.
Although he is threatening her and her race, they are clearly hostile to each other and she could be killed, they talk normally. I am not sure the scene is tense enough, because they act so calm. So how do I convey tension?
If it helps, I can add part of the conversation (but it will be a translation)
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Try describing the physical reactions ... elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, trouble thinking.
And maybe the one holding the gun is calmer because he's getting what he wants - or is more nervous because he has trouble with the idea of killing.
But if you describe what your characters are feeling physically, you can impart the tension they're feeling emotionally.
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As author Eric T. Benoit once said, your job as a writer isn’t to convey emotion, but to invoke it. Trying to convey emotion more often than not leads to tired clichés of clenched fists and sweat dripping down the characters’ brows, etc. The only emotion you’re likely to invoke in your reader is that of boredom.
As with keeping your readers’ interest throughout the rest of your novel, you keep their interest through a dialogue by dangling the carrot the in front of them, building up the double-entendres, quid pro quos, veiled threats and misunderstandings, and generally not giving your audience what they want. This in turn makes them feel tense. Because damn it, what’s going to happen next?
Quentin Tarantino is a renowned master of suspense and tension, and if you haven’t watched Inglourious Basterds I would highly recommend you pay attention to two scenes in particular.
The first is the opening scene, where an SS Colonel hunting Jews in France speaks with a dairy farmer. For the most part the two characters talk about cows, milk, and smoking their pipe, while only vaguely broaching the actual topic at hand. They talk about rather inconsequential stuff. Yet I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, as was just about everyone else in the theater. When the farmer finally breaks and reveals the location of the Jewish family he’s been hiding, a loud, collective “NO!” went out through the audience.
How did Tarantino achieve this? By skirting the issue and beating around the bush. By having a fantastic actor in the role of an SS Colonel that acts and looks a creep. By letting you know that the farmer was lying to protect a Jewish family. By making you wonder how much longer he could keep his composure. By dragging out the scene, knowing full-well that the longer it went, the lower the likelihood of a positive outcome. But most importantly, by making you falsely believe that the good guys had won, then immediately going on some racist diatribe.
And that’s an important point: if someone says something to piss off your protagonist, then your reader should be pissed off too, or experience an equally strong, similar emotion. But if you’re worried about offending your audience you’re going to have a very hard time writing anything interesting.
There is another scene later on where the characters are just playing some funny drinking game in a bar. The same tricks are used for the most part, and once again I (along with the rest of the theater) was on the edge of my seat.
You may or may not like Tarantino’s work, but his two Academy Awards were given for screenwriting. So learn it from the best!
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Tension in a conversation is created by disagreement, rejection of arguments, attitude (hatred, resentment), misunderstanding, confusion, attempts to convince or sway somebody that fall on deaf ears, including offers of bribery (monetary, sexual, information or other services) that do not work, or are considered.
Tension is created by clashes, IF the reader cannot predict with certainty how they will turn out.
In your case, I suspect you are engaged in "false jeopardy" since your MC is the one in supposed danger, unless this occurs in the last few pages of the book. 007 is never killed halfway through the movie. If he jumps out of a plane without a parachute, he will not hit the ground. If somebody puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger, it will be empty or misfire or the shooter will be killed before the gun fires.
False jeopardy is very difficult to pull off, your readers will only be interested in how your MC gets out of it, and if it is all conversation with somebody that has already murdered someone else for the same reason, and fears being killed by your protagonist? I personally would find that impossible to do with even a shred of plausibility.
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