How long can a fantasy novel stay in metaphorical Kansas?
I am writing a novel with the basic Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland or the Matrix if you want structure. The novel begins in perfect modern day, and at some point in a very sharp way takes a turn for fantasy.
Right now Kansas currently takes up about 4000 words and aside from an end paragraph is the entire first chapter. There are virtually no magical elements in it. We meet the characters and find out what are their mundane daily lives before everything is subverted. By mundane I try to not mean boring. One is tied up with a crime family, and the other one is struggling with drug addiction.
The feedback I am seeing from my test readers is that because the book is in the fantasy genre they expect fantasy. They want foreshadowing to the fact that there is magic in this world.
My question is, is this something that the modern reader needs? Do we have to put early fantasy elements to keep readers interested? How long can a standard length novel spend in the modern day world before it has to show magic? I am assuming that the normal world action is interesting if the reader just did not know the book was in the fantasy section.
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I've read books written the way yours is currently set up, and I agree with your beta readers --some foreshadowing would help. However, I think you could afford to be fairly subtle about it.
The first book of Zelazny's famous Amber series begins in the mundane world, and for a while, no events happen that couldn't have mundane explanations. However, the main character, who has amnesia, suspects from the start that there is something odd about himself. He seems to have talents, abilities and intuitions a normal person wouldn't have. There's a point in the book where it could have turned out that he was a super-spy or some other non-magical explanation. But instead, the answer to the mystery is that he's a magical immortal. In the actual Wizard of Oz, the magic world is foreshadowed by Dorothy's wistful daydreams of a fantasy world. There's no reason someone can't daydream in a mundane world, but it does prep the reader for the wish-fulfillment aspect of actual magic. In The Neverending Story, the initial foreshadowing comes largely from the whimsical names of the characters.
The point is this --you don't have to go overboard in order to promise your reader forthcoming fantasy. Your foreshadowing could be a daydream, or a character reading a fantasy book, or a butterfly that reminds someone of a fairy, or an unsolved mystery, or any of a number of things --just enough to give a little flavor of what's to come.
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I've read some books that open by introducing the main characters in their mundane lives by beginning each sub-section of chapter 1 with something like "3 days and 17 hours prior". For instance, that would be followed by a couple pages that introduce main character and setting, then another subheader "2 days and 4 hour prior" begins the introduction of character 2 which goes on for a page or two, etc. until all necessary 'Kansas' characters/events/concepts have been introduced.
Some might think that heavy-handed, but I think it's an elegantly simple solution that could involve practically no re-writing, builds anticipation, and unambiguously let the reader know "hang on, the payoff is coming".
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The purpose of the Kansas section is to establish the Real World before embarking on the Quest (to use the terms from the Hero's Journey).
The Real World is the place which the Hero (gender/age/number neutral) must leave behind. You can use it to establish character traits, and the Quest could potentially begin there, but generally I think your beta readers are right: either leave the Real World quickly or establish the existence of magic quickly. If it's a fantasy book, get to the fantasy. If it's an urban fantasy book, you still need to get to some element of fantasy promptly.
This can be something the hero doesn't understand, by the way. The White Rabbit can hop by without the hero chasing him; the reader knows what it is even if the hero doesn't. You can drop hints about Weird Things going on and not explain them for a few thousand words. So if you have a mob boss, one of the goons can be making a report about the night's activities and mention "this crazy thing that happened/that Fast Eddie told me about, you wouldn't believe it," and we don't have to get any more detail than to confirm that something unusual is going on.
ETA The Hero's Journey is a classic literary structure, popularly explained by Joseph Campbell in The Hero with a Thousand Faces and broken down into writing terms by Christopher Volger in The Writer's Journey.
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I don't think 4000 words is too long; not at all. I am presuming this is a 100,000 word novel, I think you have 10% (10,000 words) for something "magical" to happen. I base that on the standard Three Act Structure, the first 10% of your work is introducing us to the Real World of your protagonist.
This is a rare case, because the modern reader is buying a fantasy novel, your cover art can indicate this is a fantasy novel, your Title can, and your blurb that hints what the book is about (or advertising hook or whatever you want to call it) can explicitly tell them this is a "fun fantasy romp full of interesting magic", or whatever you find appropriate that indicates it is, indeed, magical. You would put the same thing in your query letter.
Your readers will know they are reading a fantasy novel, and will give you the 10% leeway to develop your character and the "real world" setting. They aren't going to put the book down and say
"Golly, the cover shows a wizard, this was in the Fantasy Fiction section of the bookstore, and the Title says "John Quincy and the Wizard of Fire Magic", and the cover blurb says it is a fun and magical ride, and the endorsements say "imaginative magic". But I am almost done with sixteen of these four hundred pages and there hasn't been ANY magic! What a rip-off!"
No, they won't say that. They will be waiting for the inciting incident, whatever happens that takes your hero out of Kansas. The Title did the same thing for "The *Wizard of Oz", "Alice through the Looking Glass", and even the previews and other marketing did it for "The Matrix"; the equivalent of cover art.
Trust that Publishers know how to sell books to their audience, and Agents aren't stupid and will not reject you for opening a fantasy without jumping straight into magic or any mention of it. And readers, when they buy a book that looks like fantasy, is titled as fantasy, is talked about as fantasy, will read your 4000 words without a second thought, knowing you will get to the fantasy in an appropriate amount of time. You are well within the first 5%, and could even stretch it to 10% if circumstances warranted it.
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